So, it really bothers me that when a guy like Ron Paul comes along who does not change his beliefs based on popularity and consistently discusses issues at their philosophical foundations (instead of just flapping his jaw about how dumb and terrible [x] party is), he seems to be almost completely ignored by the media. I don’t watch The Daily Show and from the few clips I’ve seen I generally tend to disagree with it, but they really nailed this issue. Check out this clip that pretty much says it all:

Here’s an argument that I hear often coming from the right wing commentators: “the debt was increased by much more when Obama was in office than when Bush was in office” inferring that somehow this makes republicans right and democrats wrong. That’s such a load of crap. That’s the same logic as “Bob killed 23 people, but Jim only killed 11 people, so Jim is a good man.”

C’mon, media, seriously?!

This woman is already in line for the Black Friday sale at a Best Buy in Florida. She is first in line. She is also the only one in line. That’s because today is Tuesday. She is taking a four day, three night excursion to… a parking lot. Let’s be extra liberal with the numbers and say she manages to get $1500 TV for $800, a $200 Bluray player for $80, and five $30 Bluray movies for $10. That’s a savings of $920. Let’s round it up to $1000 just to be safe. So, she has to spend a thousand to save a thousand, and she has to sit in a tent in a parking lot for several days. I have to be honest with you, I would rather work for those four days and earn $1000 without the humiliation. Even if I worked minimum wage, I would rather work four double shifts than sit in a parking lot for four days. And let’s not forget what is REALLY GOING ON HERE. They’re not handing her $1000. They’re knocking $1000 off of their 2nd tier products, which arguably aren’t worth buying in the first place (you should always buy 1st tier brands and products as you’ll save money in the long run by not having to buy replacements as often). Also noteworthy: this lady is stupid and probably also crazy a little. Here’s the video:

The worst part is near the end when she says “Thanksgiving isn’t just about going to someone’s house, cooking, watching football, etc…” What she means is that Thanksgiving isn’t just about that stuff, it’s also about buying junk on Black Friday. Let’s see, yeah… she’s right. It’s not just about that superficial stuff, right? But it seems like it’s not about Black Friday though either. I get this feeling deep down that it’s about something else, but what is it? I’m so confused. She has me really confused. She has brought up a good OH WAIT IT’S ABOUT GIVING THANKS. What it’s really about is explained IN THE NAME OF ITSELF. THANKS. GIVING. Jeez o pete, lady!

It’s weird how so many of us get that Black Friday is terrible and evil. I think almost every single person gets it. Yet people will continue to be trampled this year. Such a weird, weird world we live in. SNL gets it:

I guess you already know Best Buy is stupid, you don’t need TGM to tell you that. I mean have you ever gone into a Best Buy? It’s a bunch of kids dressed in blue polos who think they’re too good for their customers, but they actually don’t know anything about the products they sell. It’s a big box store. A grocery store for electronics. Yet, why do I always find myself wanting to go there? I can tell you, that desire has been waning of late. Take their latest weekly ad, for example. It’s so blatant an attempt to please everyone, that it pleases no one, and it makes me sick:

(Click image for larger view)

I could really dissect this thing. Is the biggest news in the tech world truly WHITE cell phones? And let’s count all of the advertising they are cramming down our throats on just this one page: Verizon, AT&T, Android, Dell, Sony, Samsung, Facebook, YouTube, and Taylor Swift. Yes, we could go on and on ripping this apart. But I want to focus on the footer of the ad. Did you notice it?

(Click image for larger view)

Eid al-Adha is a Muslim holiday that has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas. I have nothing against Muslims being able to celebrate their own holidays, but why in the name of all that is sacred is Best Buy telling me “Happy Eid al-Adha”? What does that have to do with flat-panel TVs and Xboxs? I didn’t see anything in the Wikipedia article about Eid al-Adha being a holiday of buying each other consumer electronics.

Also, why does it say Merry Christmas right next to it? Did I miss something? Did Christmas move from December 25th to November 15th? Wouldn’t you feel silly if you walked around on November 15th saying “Merry Christmas” to your coworkers? There are yet four additional holidays to the right of Merry Christmas. What’s happened here is that Best Buy has seen how much it can capitalize off of Christmas, and it has decided to rake its hand across the religious realm gathering all major holidays it can find within 2 months of Christmas. Then it puts “Happy ______” or “Merry _______” or “Feliz _______” on the front of its ad so more people will come buy stuff.

The funniest part about this is any other time of year Best Buy couldn’t give two sh*ts about Islam or Judaism. It’s only during Christmastime that the dollar signs appear in retailers’ eyes and they start spouting out salutations in 5 languages to show how much they “care” about other cultures. In my opinion, it’s actually kind of offensive that they even put Merry Christmas right next to Happy Eid al-Adha, seeing as how the holy book of the latter instructs its followers to subdue and/or kill the followers of the former. Do they really belong right next to each other?

Seriously, Best Buy?!

In an attempt to please everyone, Best Buy actually risks alienating it’s customers. If I want to buy a gift this year that I could have gotten at Best Buy, I am going to go to a different retailer that is not so offensive to me – if I can find one. Hello, Internet.

Think about what’s happening in our country right now. No, not the war, or the oil spill (is that fixed?), or the California missile, or WoW Cataclysm. I’m talking about something much more profoundly dumb than anything that is supposed to be happening in our world. Something that is worse than killing puppies. I’m referring to the fact that there are commercials for wearing your seatbelt. To quote Misters Anheuser and Busch, HERE WE GO:

Wearing your seatbelt can save your life. I wear my seatbelt all the time. Duh. That does not explain the commercials. Think about it. The very existence of cops is made possible because the government bills each of us thousands of dollars a year to pay their salaries. Here you go, cop, here is my money, now make sure no one kills me or steals my stuff. Even that much I don’t agree with, but I can at least live with it. But it’s when the cop pulls me over for driving a very safe and responsible 65 in a 55 in broad daylight with no other traffic around and bills me an extra $150 on top of the thousands I’m already paying him, without my consent, that I start to get red in the face. Somebody stop these guys!

But wait – there is yet an older and more powerful magic at work here. An evil magic. Facts: A) cops are paid too little, and B) we are taxed too much. So what does the government do? Spend millions of our tax dollars on commercials about wearing your seatbelt.

Seriously, Cops?!

WHAAAA???

I’m calling that triple taxation. Let it be called!

Two weeks ago I was walking through Circle Centre mall in downtown Indy on my way to work and I noticed all the Christmas decorations were already up and I thought yeah, that makes sense, Christmas is only two MONTHS away. Then I realized it was that time of year. The time that makes me sad to be a human. The time when the news reports people being trampled to death to save $20 on a piece of crap DVD player. I think generally speaking any time you have people being trampled to death trying to get out of somewhere, like a burning building or a sinking ship, as morbid as it sounds, that’s acceptable – unfortunate, but acceptable. But anytime you have people being trampled trying to get into somewhere, that is a sign that society has become bored and stupid.

Now, I would never wait in line at 4:30 in the morning in 20 degree weather to save a few bucks on a product that’s going to break in 6 months. However, I do many things to perpetuate this whole Black Friday thing without meaning to. Namely, buying gifts for people at Christmas. I’m not saying I’m going to stop buying things for people, but I think there is something to be said about at least being aware that this is “not what Christmas is for”. In honor of that, I’d like to remind myself first and foremost, and anyone else who happens upon this blog, to do their best to be vigilant during the holiday season. Thus, “Black Friday Watch”. A new blog series in which I’ll point out some of the most ludicrous things I come across on the Internet, on TV, and out there in stores and on billboards*.

To kick off the series, we’ll start off with a little new product for the 2010 holiday season from the “caring” folks at Hallmark:

That is a countdown clock with a Santa Claus coming out of the top that you put on your Christmas tree – the Christmas tree that sits atop the mountain of presents waiting to be opened on Christmas morn’ (I have no idea why it says “Magic” to the right – maybe to help us remember that Christmas is about magic). Here’s the product description:

Time Santa’s arrival to the last second with this clock ornament. The clock’s liquid-crystal display activates at a touch and turns the long wait into a fun family routine. Set the current date and time to display how many days, hours, minutes, and seconds until Christmas! The clock will continually count down the “wait time” and on Christmas Day, the display scrolls the happy message of “Merry Christmas” & a flashing “Ho Ho Ho”! The countdown to Christmas can begin as early as October 1 AND can be REUSED Year after Year.

Oh good I was hoping I could start our “fun family routine” of counting down to Christmas on OCTOBER THE FIRST. So, here’s what Hallmark wants us to do: quarantine a section of our house, put up a tree plastered with ornaments form Hallmark, surround it with gifts (who can fit all their gifts under the tree these days?) which all have cards from Hallmark, and crown the entire thing with an LED clock counting down the seconds until that blissful morning. And they want us to do this starting on October 1st. Might I remind you that October 1st is ONLY EIGHT DAYS AFTER SUMMER ENDS. They want us to do this ritual for one quarter of the entire year.

It is only natural that they will add features to this clock as the years go by. I bet the next feature will be a secondary clock below the main display counting down the days until Black Friday. In 100 years I bet Black Friday becomes a bigger holiday than Christmas. Don’t think it could happen? Look at Halloween. Do people celebrate the original, real holiday on November 1st (All Saints Day)? No, they celebrate a different day leading up to the real holiday which they have termed “Halloween”, just like they have termed the Friday after Thanksgiving “Black Friday”.

Here’s an alternative to the “fun family routine” of pushing a button on an ornament to see how many seconds until you get to open your gifts: The Story of Christmas: Story Book Set & Advent Calendar. That will still entertain the kids by retaining the whole countdown feeling, while hopefully steering the focus back a little closer to where it should be.

*Not a guarantee. If I never do another post in this category again, I am not held responsible. For some reason I have a trigger finger when it comes to starting series.

Ever wanted to know which Colts player you have the most in common with? Well now’s your chance to find out! This scientifically tested quiz has been proven to render 99.18% accurate results. We spent two months in a windowless, locked laboratory room stocked with coffee and volcano tacos performing heavy market research in order to produce the following 10 simple multiple choice questions, which are designed to help you determine which Colts player you are. You don’t have to be a huge Colts fan like me to take this quiz – it’s for everyone. Leave a comment and tell us which Colts player you most resemble!

The Good

I knew it would be good! I knew it! Some people hated it. However, A lot of other, smarter people raved about it. I for one am raving about it. Here’s the thing, I’m sort of tired of logically defining every aspect of life. What am I, a scientist? Don’t get me wrong, me and logic are like peas and carrots, but peas also have another cooler friend called mashed potatoes, and mashed potatoes represent feelings and emotions. Sometimes I discard logic for feelings, and that’s what I’m doing with Inception.

Here’s the recipe for Inception: start with The Matrix (everyone’s saying it, but it’s true), one of the all-time greatest films, and extract the feeling it gave you. That wonderful, overwhelming sci-fi-ish feeling. Put that in a mixing bowl and add in a generous helping of plot holes, Minority Report, a tablespoon of Vanilla Sky, a dash of Dark City, and the dark atmosphere of The Dark Knight (so much dark!). Bake that and eat it, and then you will fall asleep and have a good dream about a movie called Inception, which is about dreams-within-dreams-within-dreams. Sweet dreams!

I really need to see it again because it leaves lots of stuff hidden between the lines, plus it has that paradoxical element that time travel films often possess, and when I tried to think about it too hard my brain started to hurt. Maybe that’s because someone was in there last night inceptifying too many ideas at once. This movie was completely original and not based on any previous stories. I’m so sick of remakes and this was surprisingly refreshing simply because it was a brand new work of fiction. Christopher Nolan is awesome! Other people who are awesome: all of the actors in this film (minus Mal, she was depressing).

Some of my favorite parts of Inception are the whole dream-within-a-dream thing (did anyone else guess they were in a dream-within-a-dream in the first scene like I did? Count it!), the idea of “kicks”, all of the visual effects, the never-done-before zero-gravity hallway fight scene, and the awesome score by Hans Zimmer (wow!). Just check out this brief clip from the soundtrack:

The Bad

The problem with this film is that it might be too smart for some people. I realized it’s not the smartest movie ever to come out, but it’s a Hollywood summer blockbuster, which means it is being released amidst such generic and most assuredly dumb films as The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, The Last Airbender, and Salt, to name a few. The good news is those three films I just listed got terrible reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, while Inception got rave reviews, so maybe this isn’t such a bad thing. Still, I know there are a lot of people out there who just won’t be able to follow what is going on in Inception, and thus will say “it’s stupid”. Ha. OK.

There are two glaring problems that I noticed in this film. First off and superficially, all the action scenes in the Alpine third-layer dream were really annoying. They weren’t well done and they lasted far too long. Secondly, and this one’s more important to me, the dreams just weren’t, well, “dreamy” enough. Everyone had dreams of regular places and regular people doing regular things. Sure, in one of the dreams a Paris city street folded on top of itself, but if you think about it, that’s not really as ridiculous as the stuff we actually dream about. What I’m trying to say is, you know how you have dreams that sound retarded when you tell them to people? Why didn’t any of the people in Inception have retarded dreams? Everything made sense. That was sort of weird to me. I guess maybe the whole film might not have made sense otherwise, right? Still part of “The Bad” section for me.

The Beratings

Acting – No Beratings. Joseph Gordon Levitt (3rd Rock From The Sun kid) and Ellen Page (Juno chick) are superb supporting actors, and obviously Leo was amazing, as he always is.

Plot – No Beratings. It was totally original and awesome.

Inconsistencies – 1 Berating. These people are dreaming, so why aren’t their dreams screwed up like mine? Also, if they were floating in dream layer 2, why not in dream layer 3?

Unbelievable Events – No Beratings. Since everything happens in the subconscious, nothing is really that unbelievable. Brilliant!

Semantics – No Beratings. If I gave half beratings, I would give one here since the snow action scenes were really annoying, but alas, I don’t.

1/10 Beratings = See it the first weekend

The Berating Scale
0/10 Stand in line for the very first showing
» 1/10 See it the first weekend
2/10 See it at full price
3/10 See it at the Five-Buck-Club
4/10 See it at the dollar-fifty
5/10 See it OnDemand
6/10 Rent it from Blockbuster
7/10 Watch it on TV
8/10 Watch it purely for spousal points
9/10 Never watch it
10/10 Buy it and publicly destroy it

Here’s Some Not-So-Good Movies I’ve Seen Recently To Balance Things Out

The Hurt Locker: 5/10 Beratings

Depressing, no new territory (ANOTHER war movie…*sigh*), nothing really even happened. They’re dismantling bombs. So what.

The Blind Side: 5/10 Beratings

Totally cliched, seen it a million times, not great acting, I don’t really believe that’s how it happened at all. In a word, “Hollywood-ized”. Is that a word?

Invention of Lying: 6/10 Beratings

Thought it was going to be funny. There were maybe 2 funny scenes. Terribly disappointing. Plus, maybe a little blasphemous, depending on your mood…

Twilight: New Moon: 7/10 Beratings

I have no ill-feelings toward the Twilight series. It was not a good movie at all, but I completely see how its audience enjoyed the heck out of it. I’m just not its audience.

Alice In Wonderland: 7/10 Beratings

Why didn’t they just make this movie 100% computer animated instead of 98%? Way too outlandish, over-acted, un-inspiring, and nonsensical. I need at least a little substance in a film. This had zero substance.

The Men Who Stare At Goats: 8/10 Beratings

I don’t even need to explain why this sucked. Everyone who saw it agrees with me. Those who haven’t seen it are lucky.

Confessions of a Shopaholic: 9/10 Beratings

This is the biggest rip-off of a movie I’ve ever seen since Transmorphers. The movie it’s clearly ripping off is The Devil Wears Prada, which is a great film. This, however, ABSOLUTELY SUCKED. It might be in the running for my next installment of “Top 5er: Blacklisted Films”.

Scorsese does it again. While Shutter Island is not about the mob or gangs or Italy or wiseguys or illegal drugs, it still has that Scorsese feel. There are a few common elements carried over from his previous film The Departed, such as Boston accents and Leonardo DiCaprio, but that is where the similarities end. There are only about 10 “f-bombs”, in contrast to the 100+ in his other films. There are 2 violent/bloody scenes, in contrast to the usual 10+ in his other films. An finally, there are 0 crazy, old, tough-guy actors (Robert Deniros, Joe Pescis, and Jack Nicolsons), in contrast to 1+ of his other films. The point is that Martin Scorsese has deviated from the type of film genre he usually dabbles in (quite successfully) to venture into the realm of psychological thriller, and he proves that he is quite skilled in it. I’m hoping for a romantic comedy next, followed by a new installment in the college humor Van Wilder series.

The Good

When I go see a film in this genre, I am aiming to experience that good ol’ frightened feeling. Not the type that makes me jump out of my seat, but the type that runs a little deeper in the “disturbing” department and causes me to intermittently reflect back on the movie over the next week, remembering how disturbing it was and trying not to spoil it for people who haven’t seen it yet. So, how does Mr. Scorsese approach this genre? Take a look at the following elements that he uses in Shutter Island:

• A 1950s mental institution
• An island with one way on and one way off
• A lighthouse
• A brewing storm
• A German psychiatrist
• People smoking cigarettes (aaaaahhh!!!)

How can that movie not be scary? Even if Micheal Bay directed that movie, it would still be scary for at least 1 minute, depending on who composed the music. BURN! Think about it – old mental institutions are just plain scary because you never know what type of weird brain surgeries they’re performing on their patients. An island in the North Atlantic surrounded by 100-foot shear bluffs? Scary. A lighthouse? Scary (see: The Ring). A brewing storm? Adds that element of ominous evil. A German psychiatrist? Seeing as how the Nazis performed all those crazy psychiatric experiments – scary.

So, it is scary. We know that now. But what else was good? Leonardo DiCaprio was very very good. He plays the all-to-familiar character with a troubled past. But it’s what we find out about his past that blows the familiarity away. What really makes this film stand out, however, is the plot. If you haven’t seen it, you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog post anyway, but at least don’t read the next sentence, because even though I’m not saying anything specific about the movie, it will still probably lessen the whole experience for you. Shutter Island is one of those films that you think you have figured out early on, but then it purposely causes you to second guess your initial prediction, and then it makes you go back and forth the rest of the movie. “Oh I know how this ends…”, “Nevermind, I have no idea how this ends…”, “Oh… wait, yep – I know what’s going to happen…”, “Actually, shoot, nope, I think I’m wrong… or am I?” And it makes you do that literally until that last frame of film.

This is definitely one of those movies that you will most definitely have to have conversations about afterwards. You know how people talked about the Spielberg film “A.I.”? Well this will cause some similar discussions. Pay attention to the very last line of dialog that Leonardo DiCaprio says. I know what it means – but did you catch it?

One final word on The Good of Shutter Island (spoiler!): it does such a good job with the insaneness of some of the characters, that a few times I started thinking things like “What if I’m not really sitting here in this chair watching this movie? What if I’m actually insane right now and none of this is real?” And I love that it could do that to me.

The Bad

There was a section of the movie, from about 60% of the way through to about 90% of the way through, that started to lose me. And that’s a big chunk of film. There was so much vague, referential dialog that I started forgetting who was who. I know the purpose was to make you try to figure out what was real and what was imagined, but it went on too long and started to lose some of the audience. It started to lose some of its realism and poignancy for me, and I wish it would have kept us guessing a little bit more. Despite the fact that later in the film we are thrown off the scent again, I don’t like how long of a section of the film I was sitting there sure where it was going to go, and some of the conversations could have been cut in half. The flashbacks started getting a little redundant too. They were all pretty much the same thing, and they were mostly in slow motion, which put me in a different place and made it harder for the film to pull me back in once the flashback was over.

The Beratings

Acting – No Beratings. Leo shines, as do the psychiatrist characters.

Plot – No Beratings. Keeps you guessing, even after you think you guessed the ending.

Inconsistencies – 1 Berating. I’m deducting a point for the 60-90% section of the film I talked about earlier.

Unbelievable Events – No Beratings. The insane factor actually makes everything quite believable.

Semantics – 1 Berating. The flashbacks were too much, enough to merit a berating point.

2/10 Beratings = See it at full price

The Berating Scale
0/10 Stand in line for the very first showing
1/10 See it the first weekend
» 2/10 See it at full price
3/10 See it at the Five-Buck-Club
4/10 See it at the dollar-fifty
5/10 See it OnDemand
6/10 Rent it from Blockbuster
7/10 Watch it on TV
8/10 Watch it purely for spousal points
9/10 Never watch it
10/10 Buy it and publicly destroy it

I have been asked a few times why I hate Nickelback so much. Well, hopefully after writing this blog post I can answer that question in the future by giving the person the URL to this article. Thanks, past self. You’re welcome, future self.

I was in the car today and forgot my iPod, so I had to listen to the radio. I came upon a gem of a song. And by “gem” I mean “turd” and by “song” I mean “homeless man”. It’s called “If Today Was Your Last Day” by Nickelback, and it is one of the worst songs I have ever heard. In fact, the only worse songs I’ve heard have been other Nickelback songs, like the one where he says something about looking at a photograph and he’s asking what the hell was on his friend Jimmy’s head or something like that. I hope you never have to hear it.

Anyway, Nickelback is notorious for writing what are almost universally agreed-upon to be bad bad songs. The song I heard on the radio today was probably the 20th radio single I can think of in the last 2 years from this band. I stopped listening to their songs after “Leader of Men” (good song actually) off their debut album, so I decided to take a listen to the lyrics of their newest “hit”. After finishing the song, I decided that if there was ever a highlight reel of modern idioms, this song would be the soundtrack. Here is the song, and the first two verses written out below it:

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day’s a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

Against the grain should be a way of life
What’s worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts ’cause there’s no second try
So live like you’re never living twice
Don’t take the free ride in your own life

Seriously, Nickelback?!

Let’s look at each line individually and see if this song is even about anything:

Lyric:

“My best friend game me the best advice. He said each day’s a gift and not a given right.”

Meaning:

Don’t take anything for granted.

Reason it’s dumb:

What adult male talks about his best friend? A 12 year old adult male, that’s who. Also, it’s taken straight from this quote.

Lyric:

“Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind and try to take the path less traveled by”

Meaning:

Go for it in life – don’t take life for granted.

Reason it’s dumb:

It’s completely unoriginal. It’s three tired idioms in one sentence: 1) Leave no stone unturned, 2) Leave your fears behind you (28 million Google search results – most unrelated to this song), 3) Take the road less traveled (already a book based on a famous poem).

Lyric:

“That first step you take is the longest stride”

Meaning:

Beginning something is the hardest part.

Reason it’s dumb:

Again, completely unoriginal and stolen from this ancient proverb: The first step is always the hardest.

Lyric:

“Against the grain should be a way of life”

Meaning:

The same meaning as when he says “take the road less traveled”

Reason it’s dumb:

He already said this using a stolen idiom. Now he’s not only just repeating what others have said, but he’s stealing multiple idioms to say the same thing! This time he uses this one: Go Against The Grain.

Lyric:

“What’s worth the price is always worth the fight”

Meaning:

This actually doesn’t mean what you think it does – it’s incomplete.

Reason it’s dumb:

This is sort of a Begging The Question logical fallacy. He’s trying to make a point by saying the same thing again a different way. If something is worth the price you pay, what you are saying is that the benefits outweigh the sacrifice, or the pros outweigh the cons. Consequently, if you say something is worth the fight, you are essentially just saying something is worth the price. Both “price” and “fight” are meant to represent the sacrifice or “work” you put into it. So, we naturally hear this sentence as “What’s worth the benefit is worth the cost”, even though that’s not even what he said! That also proves this is yet another stolen idiom – how else could we have naturally known what he was trying to say, despite what he actually did say, if we hadn’t already heard it a thousand times?

Lyric:

“Every second counts ’cause there’s no second try, so live like you’re never living twice”

Meaning:

You only live life once.

Reason it’s dumb:

Look at the Wikipedia results for each of these two phrases: Every Second Counts, and You Only Live Once. There are already albums, books, films, and game shows with these titles. Again, nothing new here.

Lyric:

“Don’t take the free ride in your own life”

Meaning:

Don’t take anything for granted.

Reason it’s dumb:

Again, yet another stolen idiom. It’s this one: Free Ride.

There you go, not a single original idea presented. There is nothing to debate, and nothing to discuss. Even the chord progression – that cliched, overused, G-D-A progression – has been used a million times before even by Nickelback themselves (see chorus of Nickelback’s “Someday”, and then compare that chorus to Nickelback’s “Savin’ Me”, and THEN try to distinguish all three of these songs in your head – it’s impossible).

I am not trying to be a music elitist here as I will be the first to admit that I like music that true elitists scoff at. But I will say that I draw the line at Nickelback. Let’s look at a true song by a true band. It’s called Pyramid Song by Radiohead. I didn’t choose it because it’s the most complicated and deep song by Radiohead (which it’s not) because that would be an unfair comparison. I chose it 1) because it’s very short and 2) because it randomly came on my iPod when I got back to my desk at work. Here is the song and the full lyrics posted below it:

i jumped in the river and what did I see?
black-eyed angels swimming with me
a moon full of stars and astral cars
all the figures i used to see
all my lovers were there with me
all my past and futures
and we all went to heaven in a little row boat
there was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt

First of all, if you can name the time signature of that song I will be very impressed. Secondly, the song is not preachy at all. It is an eerie story that presents different imagery to different listeners, and it has spurred much debate, as do a lot of other Radiohead songs. Some say the song is about euthanasia, while others say it’s inspired by Dante’s Inferno. And while some of the lines were inspired by or taken from previous works, none of them were based on common idioms, maxims, proverbs, sayings, cliches, or quotes.

This is not to say that you have to like Radiohead’s song and you aren’t allowed to like Nickelback’s song. It is just a comparative example of why I think Radiohead, for instance, is such a better band than Nickelback, and I would even argue that is an objective statement in the world of music (not the world of pop, hollywood, ‘tweens, or money). Radiohead is musically complex, Nickelback is not. Radiohead is lyrically original, Nickelback is not. Radiohead is thought-provoking and inspiring, Nickelback is not. Radiohead is musically diverse, Nickelback is not. Radiohead does not get boo-ed off stage, Nickelback does.

UPDATE***

Here’s proof that Nickelback is unoriginal musically and even copies itself. This video layers How You Remind Me and Someday. They are THE SAME SONG: