Archive for February, 2015

The Guatemala sinkhole.

330 feet deep. Swallowed 12 homes suddenly. The pit emitted foul odors, loud noises and tremors, shaking the surrounding ground. A rush of water could be heard from its depths… I have a fear of voids, so that’s all ...

I’m Afraid Of Cephalopods

Ever since I can remember I’ve had a real fear of the following things (from least to greatest): 1. Voids 2. Cephalopods While you’re glaring at me for using a big word that I obviously found on Wikipedia, let me to...

How To Screw Capital One

You know those business reply mail envelopes that clog up your mailbox from stupid junk mailers like Capital One – the ones that say “No Postage Necessary If Mailed In The US”? We both know that postage is, in...


‘Nuther Leet

I’m convinced this number pops up way more often in my life than any other number. I’m viewer number ‘leet’ on this YouTube vid: Now if only I was worth a crap in WoW PVP. Then I’d really be leet.

American Gangster

American Gangster is one of those movies that I wish I didn’t love. It’s not particularly edifying and it contains a lot of nudity. At least it wasn’t Eastern Promises nudity, and for that I’m thankful. ...

LOLheads – The Bilger Woodichick

Our LOLheads department snapped this doozy of Tiger Woods after he placed second in the Masters a few days ago. We detected strong levels of simultaneous smugness and self-loathing emanating from his curiously dark Asian forear...


Tommy Lee Jones’ Age

I was watching Under Seige last night and realized Tommy Lee Jones has never been young. This movie came out in 1992 and he is exactly as old as he is now. His voice and appearance are exactly the same. He is omni-age. ThatR...

Blue Frost

I have created LIFE! In the form of a web template. It’s called Blue Frost, which I know sounds a lot like Blue Steel from Zoolander, but it’s just as killer. So far the template exists in two iterations: a plain va...
belichick gollum
belichick gollum
belichick gollum

Movies I’m Not Looking Forward To

Baby Mama because I despised Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as the Weekend Update duo on SNL, and they’ll be up to all their old, tired antics again in this film. 10,000 B.C. because it looks terrible and it will dupe people in...