How To Screw Capital One
Posted on 24. Apr, 2008 by The Gimcracker in Gimcrackery
You know those business reply mail envelopes that clog up your mailbox from stupid junk mailers like Capital One – the ones that say “No Postage Necessary If Mailed In The US”? We both know that postage is, in fact, necessary to mail stuff. So, who is paying for this? It’s not you, me, or the Postal Service – it’s the sender (Capital One). Wanna stick it to them? OK, then read on.
Apparently, each time you do the following you cost the sender $25.
Step 1 – get a box.
Step 2 – get a brick.
Step 3 – put the brick in the box.
Step 4 – tape the business reply envelope (pictured above) to the box.
Step 5 – mail it.
Imagine more than one brick in the box. Imagine 10 bricks in the box. That would cost them $250. Or you can put any and all junk laying around your house in the box if you don’t have any spare bricks. Here are the advantages I can immediately see from this process:
- Screw Capital One
- Finally get rid of that broken toaster wasting space on your counter
- Stick it to Capital One
- Get rid of all those cardboard boxes the garbage men refuse to take
- Anger Capital One
- Increase revenue for the United States Postal Service
- Get people fired at Capital One
- Actually look forward to receiving stupid junk mail
- Chuckle to yourself about finally beating Capital One
If you have any questions or if I was not clear enough go to the official website for all this tomfoolery. It’s ideas like this that I wish I had come up with. Even now, while I’m writing this post about wishing I came up with good ideas, there is an idea that I could be coming up with that some loser in California will think of first.
Direct Mail is what pays my salary… I still think it’s funny though.
Obviously you don’t have anything to worry about unless you work for a company that clogs up my mailbox with scams.
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