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The Guatemala sinkhole.

Posted by The Gimcracker in News, Science on 29. Apr, 2008 | 3 Comments

330 feet deep. Swallowed 12 homes suddenly. The pit emitted foul odors, loud noises and tremors, shaking the surrounding ground. A rush of water could be heard from its depths… I have a fear of voids, so that’s all I wanna know.

I’m Afraid Of Cephalopods

Posted by The Gimcracker in Science on 25. Apr, 2008 | 8 Comments

Ever since I can remember I’ve had a real fear of the following things (from least to greatest): 1. Voids 2. Cephalopods While you’re glaring at me for using a big word that I obviously found on Wikipedia, let me touch on #1. Voids frighten me. Remember ‘The Nothing’ from The Neverending Story? That was [...]

How To Screw Capital One

Posted by The Gimcracker in Gimcrackery on 24. Apr, 2008 | 3 Comments

You know those business reply mail envelopes that clog up your mailbox from stupid junk mailers like Capital One – the ones that say “No Postage Necessary If Mailed In The US”? We both know that postage is, in fact, necessary to mail stuff. So, who is paying for this? It’s not you, me, or [...]

‘Nuther Leet

Posted by The Gimcracker in Gimcrackery, Stuff On The Internet on 22. Apr, 2008 | No Comments

I’m convinced this number pops up way more often in my life than any other number. I’m viewer number ‘leet’ on this YouTube vid: Now if only I was worth a crap in WoW PVP. Then I’d really be leet.

American Gangster

Posted by The Gimcracker in Beratings, Movies on 21. Apr, 2008 | No Comments

American Gangster is one of those movies that I wish I didn’t love. It’s not particularly edifying and it contains a lot of nudity. At least it wasn’t Eastern Promises nudity, and for that I’m thankful. It’s the true story of a self-made 1970s drug lord who rose to the top and fell right back [...]

LOLheads – The Bilger Woodichick

Posted by The Gimcracker in LOLheads, Sports on 16. Apr, 2008 | 2 Comments

Our LOLheads department snapped this doozy of Tiger Woods after he placed second in the Masters a few days ago. We detected strong levels of simultaneous smugness and self-loathing emanating from his curiously dark Asian forearms, and when we looked up we saw a face to match it. He resembled one of the greatest smug-and-self-loathing-at-the-same-time [...]

Tommy Lee Jones’ Age

Posted by The Gimcracker in Gimcrackery on 10. Apr, 2008 | 3 Comments

I was watching Under Seige last night and realized Tommy Lee Jones has never been young. This movie came out in 1992 and he is exactly as old as he is now. His voice and appearance are exactly the same. He is omni-age. That’s what my friend and I used to call a lady in [...]

Blue Frost

Posted by The Gimcracker in Gimcrackery on 04. Apr, 2008 | 1 Comment

I have created LIFE! In the form of a web template. It’s called Blue Frost, which I know sounds a lot like Blue Steel from Zoolander, but it’s just as killer. So far the template exists in two iterations: a plain vanilla HTML version that you can use as a theme for any old website, [...]

Movies I’m Not Looking Forward To

Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies on 01. Apr, 2008 | 6 Comments

Baby Mama because I despised Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as the Weekend Update duo on SNL, and they’ll be up to all their old, tired antics again in this film. 10,000 B.C. because it looks terrible and it will dupe people into spending 10 bucks based solely on the played-out hype of Independence Day [...]

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1337 Fresh

Posted by The Gimcracker in Gimcrackery, Stuff On The Internet on 31. Mar, 2008 | No Comments

Today my wife and I went to Subway for lunch. The total cost of our meal was $13.37. If I had an iPhone like all you pie-in-the-sky gizmo-geeks out there, I could’ve taken a picture to prove it. You’ll just have to take my word for it.

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