Blizzard Pays You to
Smoke Play Their Crack Game
Posted on 04. May, 2007 by The Gimcracker in Gaming, News
Yes, those are World of Warcraft credit cards. Yes, puppies will start dying soon.
There was a time when I thought the maker of World of Warcraft had a soul. But I recently found out yet again that a corporation cannot have a soul any more than a Mac user can have respect for a PC user.
Do you realize what they’ve done? They’ve combined crack and heroine to form a new drug called the World of Warcraft Rewards Visa®. We all know that when a kid gets his first credit card, his life is a downhill slope from there, yet we still strive to teach financial responsibility.
It’s so tempting to buy useless goods with that shiny piece of holographic plastic just because we can. We don’t need any more reasons than just that one. Blizzard, on the other hand, knows they’ve got a choke-hold on 10 million+ kids who suffer from the disease known as “WoWchoholism”, with common side effects including declining grades, sensitivity to real sunlight, rapid weight gain, and dizziness. So, they figured they had something there, but apparently it lacked enough evil. That’s when, BOOM, it hit them, “Let’s give the kids another reason to use their credit cards that they’re already having trouble not using, by telling them if they do we’ll give them more crack! Brilliant!”
Actually, it is pretty brilliant.
Do they make them with your personal characters on the front? Or maybe you could even use your characters name. Instead of real people living a world inside a game, the game characters could start living in the real world. Wow. WoW.
WOW! Then they could all star on the “Real World”. There would be major chemistry problems in that house.
I believe there are 13 designs, but they’re preset. I can’t wrap my head around that concept. I’m trying to think about a real person playing a virtual character, which then (somehow) gets into the real world and interacts (or “plays”) with real people, which are either just regular people or people playing virtual characters playing people, in which case we’re back to square one where two people are just interacting with each other in real life, except that the two real people are people playing virtual characters playing people, which could be the original two players or completely different people or a mix of the two. I just can’t get it.
Or, what if you were playing a virtual character that was playing the real life me, and I was playing the virtual character that was playing the real life you? What would happen if we met? Great Scott!
Great Scott indeed! That could unravel the space-time continuum. But if that wouldn’t, this would:
What if we were the game all along, and a virtual character was playing us playing a virtual character in a different game, in which the goal was to find out who was playing the real-life character that was playing the virtual character in the other game (the game in which the goal was to find out who was playing the real-life character that was playing the virtual character in the other game (the game in which the goal was to find out who was playing the real-life character in the other game (the game in which the goal was to find out who was playing the real-life character in the other game)))…
…and so on.