I Shouldn’t Have Posted The Last Top Fiver
Posted on 27. Jun, 2007 by The Gimcracker in Reference Burst Theory, Top Fivers
Not five minutes after I published this post in which I go into some detail about amusement park accidents, a girl’s feet were both severed above the ankle by the Superman Tower of Power (formerly known as The Hellivator) at Kentucky Kingdom. These kinds of things do not happen very often. To have something like this happen at one of the closest amusement parks in proximity to me literally five minutes after I published my post is a little scary.
A couple days ago I was discussing this accident with someone who replied, “yeah, but she’ll be rich for the rest of her life.” True, she will be rich, but she will have no legs! If someone asked you if you would trade both of your legs at the age of 13 for a couple million bucks, what would you do? Especially if it involved having them ripped off by a thrill ride whose purpose was already to scare the living hellivator out of you. You would say no. Shut up, yes you wou-yes you-shut up dude-shut-yes you would.
What I’m really upset about is that they closed all similar rides at other amusement parks, including one of my personal favorites (and one I’m due to be riding in exactly a week from today), the Drop Zone at King’s Island. According to this article the Drop Zone is a much bigger and faster ride:
The Superman ride takes passengers up 177 feet and then drops them nearly 154 feet at 54 mph before stopping. Drop Zone takes riders up 264 feet and drops them at 67 mph.
I can attest to that, as I’ve been on the Drop Zone many times and it never EVER lets me down.
You know what this reminds me of? I had a dream about 2 747s crashing into government buildings in Washingdon D.C. the night before September 11th. When I was awakened by my mom to find out about the actual terrorist attacks, I remember telling her that I was just having a dream about that. No, there weren’t any TVs or radios on anywhere near me while I was sleeping, and yes, I was actually having the dreams before it happened. What does that mean? Do my sick fantasies actually cause real-life events? If so, I will cease and desist immediately.
»Article about the other rides closing
»News clip about the accident
“and it never EVER lets me down.”
Actually, I would say that it “lets you down” every time you ride it.
*Ba dum Ching!*
And I would probably delete that last paragraph before the Feds come knocking on your office door this afternoon.
2 Leggin’ it,
That would be hilarious! “Sir, we have information that you had a dream about planes the night before the attacks. We believe you to be involved with the terrorists. Come with us.”
Dude – ever see “Hearts in Atlantis”? Yeah, maybe Brad’s closer to the truth than you think… But wouldn’t worry… The Man rarely checks things like this bl-
Brain, I have to go now. Do not call. Do not write. I’m unavailable. Goodbye.
Man, I think you should try a few more sick fantasies just to make sure they really have the power to come true.
Try something absolutely crazy like the Sears tower in Chicago getting blown over by a huge gust of wind and causing a domino effect on all the other buildings, thus destroying the entire city. Except for the statue of Michael Jordan.
They have to come to me. I can’t force them. And I can’t be thinking “ooohh, I hope this comes true!” because I totally wasn’t thinking that during the Revelation of Brain I & II. Hopefully I forget about this post and something else comes to me. Except something good, not bad. Either way maybe I’ll get famous.
Things always come in 3… who’s next? I’d avoid King’s Island next week if I were you.
Wow, I just rode that a month ago. What is going on with amusement park rides? I’m a little scared to go to King’s Island now…
[...] that weekend we went to Kentucky Kingdom, home of the TOWER OF POWER, aka the Feet Chopper. It was a great time. Apparently once a 13-year old girl loses a few feet, no one shows up anymore. [...]