Celebrities Die In Threes, And So Do Cats
Posted on 27. Aug, 2007 by The Gimcracker in Reference Burst Theory
We know that celebrities die in threes, even though some people don’t seem to think it’s that simple. But I have always found my reference burst theory to be very interesting. It’s based out of a very scientific idea that things seem to get referenced all of the sudden multiple times in a short period, from seemingly disconnected sources. It was made up by me so don’t steal it and take credit for it.
For instance, all of a sudden you’ll hear an obscure 20 year old song on the radio that you haven’t heard in a long time, and then you’ll be flipping through an old magazine the next day and come across the name of that artist. If it’s a true Reference Burst (notice how the term is now capitalized), you’ll then proceed to see an old sitcom on TV where one of the characters makes a reference to that very song, or something along those lines.
It happened to me with Mexican Radio by Wall of Voodoo a couple years ago when it was referenced on an episode of Seinfeld shortly after I had heard it on the radio and seen it in print (I can’t remember where). That’s just one example – it happens pretty often.
Could it have something to do with the butterfly effect? One event causes a chain reaction, so the first reference somehow prompts the other two, not by chance, but by some complex chain of cause and effect. Could it be that Reference Bursts™ exist everywhere all the time and we only notice them when our minds are open to them? Could it be that I am a telepathic robotic bionic mutant-ic machine? My name is Brian, which is close to Brain, so maybe.
What does this have to do with cats dying? I’ll tell you – you just have to come on a short journey with me first. I’ll have you back to your cubical in no time. Refill your coffee mug, you closet caffeine addict, and let’s go.
A Short Journey
Yesterday I witnessed video of a team of lion hunters flirting with death. About halfway through it contains 5 seconds of some of the most amazing and terrifying footage mine eyes have ever seen. The video is work appropriate, 2 minutes long, and, although not required, is best viewed with sound. I probably built it up way too much. Sorry, but here it is anyway.
I want to go off topic for a second and point something out. Despite what you may be thinking about how terrible it is that they’re hunting lions, that guy drinks Milwaukee’s Best for sure. He got right back up and shot that lion. I would be burrowing into the ground like a little Hobbit creature of some sort. And stop judging that guy too. Maybe that lion killed his African wife and their 17 mixed-children. Ok, back to the subject.
You’re thinking “Man, I’ve got a lot more blogs to read today at work instead of finishing my project that’s due on Friday, and I wish he’d get to the point so I can just move on to Perez-Hilton.” I’ve got the cure for what ales you, my friend. Here’s where it gets interesting. Friday, not two days prior to Sunday’s video-tastic-ness, I happened upon a nugget of YouTube video involving a tiger, a stick-wielding Indian man, and a mostly uninvolved elephant. This one has about 3 seconds of sheer heaven towards the end. It’s work appropriate and 35 seconds long (with no audio).
You’re thinking “If this honky ever wants me to visit his blog again, he better have one more video clip that’s even better than the first two and conclude his post with a profound summarizing statement.” Today’s your lucky day, chief. A few weeks ago I witnessed the most amazing video I have ever seen. I know it sounds fake, but the video is entitled the Battle at Kruger and it contains footage of an epic three-way fight over an innocent little calf between a pride of lions, a crocodile, and a herd of angry buffalo. It is 8:30 in length and is worth every second, so watch it when you actually have a solid 20 minutes of time (I gave you an extra 11 minutes to rewind and re-watch the best parts).
You’re thinking “He’s doing it! He’s actually doing it! I hope he doesn’t screw it up so close to the end.” Don’t worry fake condescending guy, I won’t. It all comes full-circle because today, would you believe it, I happened to come across this article about the popularity of the battle at kruger video. I wasn’t searching for it, and I wasn’t even thinking about the crazy cat videos I had recently seen. In fact, I found it in the related articles section of an article on Digg about the godfather of the Internet predicting the end of TV as we know it.
Is there truth to my © Reference Burst Theory™? Have you had any crazy coincidences recently that would fall into this category? If so, you owe me $12 for stealing my idea that has been © Copyrighted and Trademarked™ and now contains the word “theory” in the official term too, just FYI in case you missed that. I know you can do that, I’ve seen it done. No one just says Pythagorean, do they? Who would give you any credit if you said “I used Pythagorean to figure out the third side of that triangle”? People need to hear that “theory” in there.
Here, I’ll type it again just to clear it up, this is how you have to refer to it without having to owe me $15: © Reference Burst Theory ™ ®. Yes, it has to be underlined and bolded, and just one last thing, notice how it’s Registered® too. I’m just covering my own butt here, ok.
I definitely have experienced your…um…theory…many times before. (I am sorry; I can’t type all that trademark jargon, and you’ll have to do it for me) And man, I gotta hand it to you. That’s an amazing theory you’ve developed there. It must be one of those incontravertable laws of the universe, like gravity or electromagnetism or even relativity. Referencitivity?
The most recent occurence of this phenomenon for me that I can think of is the mining tragedies. After hearing the story about the miners in Utah, there was a story about 3 miners (I think) in Indiana that died like a day later; and then the next day I saw a story about miners being trapped somewhere across the world. What the crap? I hadn’t heard any mining tragedy stories before this for probably a couple years. Maybe I just don’t pay close enough attention. But that’s not the point. The stories *found* me. Not vice versa. Hmmmm….
That’s exactly what I’m talking about. How often do you hear stories of people trapped in mines these days? And all of a sudden you’re barraged with them. Why does this happen?
I’ve had some crazy instances of © Reference Burst Theory ™ ® in my time. I wish I could remember more of them.
I know I called you last night (sometimes in a situation as bizarre and freaky as this, a simple blog comment won’t suffice initially), but I just need to go on the internet record with my recollection of last night’s events.
I pull up Google Reader to catch up on the day’s blogs after a hard day at work. I read this post and the Reference Burst Theory. My mind is so blown away that I can’t even finish the other posts left in my Reader, so I close my laptop. I look at the TV. I never watch TV. Tonight, I’m going to watch TV. I turn on the TV. It’s National Geographic. It’s a man. He’s befriended a bear. Bear #2 comes along. Kills Bear #1. Kills man. All within 7 minutes of reading this post. I stare at the TV. I try to explain it to my wife. I shake my head, turn off the TV, and take Bella for a walk, fearing that she will turn on my and gnaw at my leg any given moment. Then I write a $15 check to Sir Brian McCulloh, Esq.
That’s amazing! For all those people who thought I was just BSing, there you have it. Reference Burst Theory ™ in action. It’s animal attacks this week, but who knows what it will be next week. I can’t wait to find out.
Man, you’re not gonna believe this. Today I’m giving myself a little free time from work (which I really can’t afford to do, but who cares) to look at a few blogs and such.
First thing I do is check my own blog stats to see if anyone is still reading my blog, even though I never post anymore. I found out that some random person visited my blog by doing a google search for “scary battle at kruger video.” I had done a random post with that video in it a while ago. So I thought, “that’s weird, I never would have thought that posting that video would bring a random visitor. Cool.”
Then I come here and find that you are randomly doing a post that happens to reference the video and perhaps explains why I had a random visitor, because of the popularity of that video.
Not sure if that can officially fall under the umbrella of the © Reference Burst Theory ™ ®, but there it is.
Okay guys. I have more to add. No joke. Just last Friday I was at home after work making dinner. I turned on the TV in the kitchen and watched NBC Nightly News (honestly, I *never* watch this program) Toward the end, Brian Williams did a little bit on popular things on the internet. What do you think he included? That’s right. The Battle at Kruger Video.
Also, just last night I heard a random story of a hamster eating another hamster in its cage because it was bigger than the other one. A gruesome bloody mess.
© Reference Burst Theory ™ ® is starting to scare me.
That totally falls under the umbrella, Arthur. Here’s a chronological summary of the events at hand. Let the © Reference Burst Theory ™ ® commence.
Prologue: Brian recently sees Battle at Kruger video and takes an interest in animal attack videos.
I’m glad I copyrighted, trademarked, registered, and patented my theory.
Okay, Brian. This is seriously getting weird.
I have one more event for you to add. It happened less than 5 minutes ago:
I was filing and a lad I work with said, “Jonathan! I have to tell you about this dream I had last night.”
In the dream, she was in a lake house with my parents (yes, my parents) and my mom and her were talking at the front door and all of a sudden a big brown bear came out of nowhere and started to run toward them. They had to hurry to get the door shut.
I’m not kidding. She *just* told me this dream, and the whole time I was thinking in my head, “© Reference Burst Theory ™ ®, Brian is a genius, I have to comment, “© Reference Burst Theory ™ ®, Brian is a genius, I have to comment….”
Sorry, I mean *lady* I work with. Haha, it says ‘lad’
We should all use the word “lad” more often.
I’m glad I blogged about this, because now we’re finding out how deep this thing really goes.
You got me curious about site logs. My site logs show that someone got to my site by searching “birthday present for stroke victims”. Sure enough, type it in Google and I’m #2. I need to come up with something to capitalize on this.
What’s the best way to figure that stuff out, Technorati? Alexa?
Okay, here’s my contribution.
But first, Brian (Brain) you’re a genius to TM and R this “theory.” I’ve found it to be true throughout my life and I can’t help but wonder why the number 3? Generally these things don’t seem to happen to me in any other numbers – not 2, 4, 5 or more, but 3.
So here’s my latest personal example. Jim Gaffigan (Hot Pockets). I saw him in a movie that I seem to be the only living human being that loves – The Great New Wonderful. He and Tony Shalhoub were fabulous. I didn’t know who he was, though he looked familiar, and never even checked to see what his name was on the DVD case. So months later (I know, it wasn’t immediate so really not a “burst,” but still…), just days ago, Rodney comes home from an out-of-town trip, having had the rare opportunity to watch cable, and tells me about this hilarious, clean comedian he watched: Jim Gaffigan. So then, a day or maybe 3 later (this past Sunday morning), Caleb tells me that the night before he had rented a DVD of – yes – Jim Gaffigan, to watch with his brothers and that it was hilarious (note that Caleb had not watched the cable special and the DVD is like 2 years old). So that’s 3 random events.
Oh, and when I did a google search on Jim just now to be sure I had his name spelled right, I saw that he’s from Indiana and furthermore will be performing at Purdue on Sept. 7.
By the way, if anyone out there has seen The Great New Wonderful, please speak up – especially if you liked it and can say something other than, “It was meaningless!”
Okay, here’s another little one. I told Rodney about this © Reference Burst Theory ™ ® and he reminded me that we had an example just two days ago. On the way to church he was telling us about a book he’s listening to, “Into the Wild,” about a guy named Christopher John McCandless. Then on the way home from church, we passed a sign for someone named McCandless (a realtor, I think). Then, when we watched a movie that night, there was someone by the name of McCandless in the credits. I commented on this “coincidence” at the time; unfortunately I didn’t have the snazzy name for the phenomenon that I have now (thanks Brian).
I just log in to my CPanel. For me, it’s bradjward.com:2082, not sure if your hosting company [WebHosting4Life?] supports CPanel or not.
You should be able to get to this: http://www.webhost4life.com/statsdemo.asp
Ok, so that night (after you posted this post) when I was at home, my wife looks out the window and we see a gigantor spider catching an even bigger locust/cicada thing in it’s web and having a vicious 45 minutes battle with it, scurrying up and down reinforcing it’s web, running onto the bug and battling with it (getting knocked off of it, swinging down running back) until it finally killed the bug and began cocooning it or whatever. Does this count? They are bugs, so not technically animals…
I love Jim Gaffegan! Those are excellent examples of what I’m talking about. And it’s always 3 references, not 2 or 4, you’re right. Why does this phenomenon exist?
Chris that reminds me, a couple weeks ago I saw a spider running across the sidewalk with this huge bug in it’s clutches. I ran up to see it closer and I think I scared the poor little bugger because he suddenly darted off and let go of the bug, which flew up to me and gave me a high-five and went home to his family. That spider was so mad at me I bet.
That also reminds me of the epic chipmunk story from PA this past spring involving a chipmunk, 2 cats, and a snake. It was like a miniature Battle at Kruger. I should blog about it and post a video clip of the battle since I got some of it on tape. Stand by… (I make no promises)
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is you website? becouse i copied egsacly and the second one well check u ould have spent like 3000000000 years on it becouse i can see that uless you have lived that long its not your site thats a reacuring MISTACKE o yea my frend said the second mision under direct cvopntroll of darth vadar is wiping out kaminan clone troops that they havent ecselarated and are theres just after i had got them. then i read a game review and guess what advert and review i saw batlefront 1+2 wich i had got
sos i dident say that i got batlefront 1,n,2 so you were all clueless sorry i olso dident use R tm and C
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