In case you didn’t get that, I’m asking where in the heck the English language went. Everything is said in acronym format now. idky, but even my bffs r doing it. It’s not like I’m just now realizing it. I’ve been emailing, texting, and talking this way for quite a while, especially amongst my geek friends. I do it so much that I sometimes throw the old leet speak in when I’m conversing with non-leet people like my wife.
Before I go any further, I want to say that there’s nothing wrong with being non-leet since truly leet people are usually non-cool. Think about it, would you tell a girl at the club that you “roflpwned a n00b in Halo last night, called him leeroy jenkins, and told him he needs to either L2P or get haxorz, lawl”. No, you would not. If you would, I believe they employ large men at the door that are stationed thusly to “clean up” messes like yourself.
Back to the real world. I was recently disgusted by a Verizon Wireless commercial which contains more acronym jibberish than actual leet speak. It was at this point that I realized what my wife was getting at when she called me a “no good, ego-maniacal, half-witted, scruffy-looking, nerf-herder, GEEK.” She probably didn’t actually use the Star Wars reference, but that’s how it plays back in my head. The point is, it’s true, I’m a geek.
These texting short cuts exist for a good reason, but only if you’re texting or chatting. For instance, I would rather type “bc” instead of “because”, “brb” instead of “be right back”, and “mtrhftsittyl” instead of “my thumbs really hurt from texting so i’ll talk to you later”. It’s when people start throwing these half-leet, half-acronym phrases into face-to-face interactions, as seen in the aforementioned cell phone commercial, that I really get annoyed.
I know people don’t really say “Tee Ess In Eff” for “That’s So Not Fair”. But I have heard “Bee Tee Double-u” when someone is attempting to throw in an aside via “By The Way”. Let’s take a look at this one. Saying “By The Way” requires less effort than saying “BTW” due to the fact that the former is only three syllables, as opposed to the four syllables required for the latter. What kind of sense does this make?
The worst part about this whole mess is, I caught myself saying it the other day. I wonder how long I’ve been using this phrase in regular speech, or equally annoying derivatives thereof? It’s scary to think about.
The moral of the story: don’t use the word “n00b” in a night club. Save it for that late night session of Counter-Strike when you finally surf to pro on rebel_resistance_final3 and you want to gloat about it.
Yes, I have used every single phrase represented on this 1337 keyboard at one point or another, except the ASCII bull.