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The Devil Wears Prada

Posted by The Gimcracker in Beratings, Movies on 11. Dec, 2007 | 4 Comments

Keeping up with the theme of belated Beratings, I decided to officially B-Rate a film that I saw in theaters and just recently bought on DVD for my wife. Picture me sitting on the couch sipping Diet Coke curled up under a blanket with a lovely fire burning watching The Devil Wears Prada with my [...]

Colts Rout Ravens; Fans Respond: ‘Duh’

Posted by The Gimcracker in Sports on 10. Dec, 2007 | 3 Comments

The real story was Gonzalez, pictured above as only a torso. Believe me when I say, however, that he actually does have legs, and they easily carried him past second stringer Pittman, who was eventually pulled from the game due to his poor performance. I have two things to say in response to this game. [...]

LOLheads – The Scut Farkus Belichick

Posted by The Gimcracker in LOLheads, Sports on 07. Dec, 2007 | 2 Comments

What is it with me and blog series? I’ve horribly neglected my Berating system and I haven’t been feeding my TopFivers. I promise I’ll do better. Maybe soon I’ll come out with a Berating for Ratatooine. In spite of my better judgments I’m opening up a new series entitled LOLheads. I have no idea what [...]

Big Ol’ Numbers

Posted by The Gimcracker in Science, Theory & Philosophy on 06. Dec, 2007 | 15 Comments

The edge of the universe is 50 billion trillion miles away. While Googling this number to see what it’s technically referred to, and how many light years it equivocates, I stumbled upon the largest diamond in the world galaxy. Space is so cool. I guess a diamond isn’t really “space”. I don’t know what to [...]

Look Very Closely: Belichick Actually Resembles Some Infamous Villains

Posted by The Gimcracker in LOLheads, Movies, Sports on 04. Dec, 2007 | 5 Comments

After fumbling through archives of old Bill Belichick photos, I’ve stumbled upon some shots that I’ve never noticed before. If you look closely, you can see that Belichick resembles some of the more infamous antagonists of our time. I just can’t believe I never noticed it before.

Belichick Sold His Soul To The Devil

Posted by The Gimcracker in Sports on 03. Dec, 2007 | 5 Comments

That’s the only way the Patriots won tonight. I couldn’t even wait until morning to write this. Baltimore, leading most of the game, needs a first down to win it. They don’t get it. Baltimore needs to stop New England with 4th and inches to win it. They stop them, but a last second sideline [...]

Thoughts On The Total Money Makeover

Posted by The Gimcracker in Theory & Philosophy on 30. Nov, 2007 | 11 Comments

Yes, that’s a $5,000 bill, which did actually exist at one time (as did the $10k and $100k bills). But that was before VISA-vis hell, Discovered in debt, Bastard Card, and American Express train to bankruptcy took away our need for large denominations. That didn’t make sense. Vis-a-vis. Ergo. Concurrently. Hitherthenceforththeless. What I’m getting at [...]

Alive One Minute, Saint The Next

Posted by The Gimcracker in News, Sports on 29. Nov, 2007 | 10 Comments

I grow weary of people speaking of the recently departed as flawless, sinless individuals despite the life the person actually lived. There’s this fear of speaking ill of the dead that stays around for months and even years after the burial. Why is this? By “ill”, I’m not talking about slander and falsity. Usually, an [...]

Eight Quotes by C.S. Lewis

Posted by The Gimcracker in Theory & Philosophy on 21. Nov, 2007 | 10 Comments

This has to be the most overused image of Lewis. That’s because it’s awesome. Look at the expression on his face as he stokes up the ol’ Longbottom Leaf. It’s like I just told him the punchline of a joke right as he struck his match, and then he looked up at me and began [...]

Top Fiver: Blacklisted Films

Posted by The Gimcracker in Beratings, Movies, Top Fivers on 13. Nov, 2007 | 9 Comments

Imagine the worst movie you’ve ever seen, and then take that movie and replace the dialog with Chinese, the soundtrack with the constant squeak of a rusty shopping cart wheel, the lead actress with Angelina Jolie, and the director with Satan.

These are my current all-time least favorite movies, thus they have been etched into the annals of The Blacklist. And let me tell you, it’s a very dark place down there. It’s darker’n a black steer’s tookus on a moonless prairie night.

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