I guess you already know Best Buy is stupid, you don’t need TGM to tell you that. I mean have you ever gone into a Best Buy? It’s a bunch of kids dressed in blue polos who think they’re too good for their customers, but they actually don’t know anything about the products they sell. It’s a big box store. A grocery store for electronics. Yet, why do I always find myself wanting to go there? I can tell you, that desire has been waning of late. Take their latest weekly ad, for example. It’s so blatant an attempt to please everyone, that it pleases no one, and it makes me sick:
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Hey everyone, remember The Gimcrack Miscellany? It’s my blog. You’re on it now, and you’re reading an article. Remember those days? I can’t quit you, TGM! Good old blogging… it is always there to bring me a hot cup of tea when I’m feeling down, and talk to me while I fall asleep.
I have talked before about how it feels like we live in the future because of all the awesome things we have, no? Maybe that’s one of my 27 drafts that are waiting to be finished. In any case – cell phones, man. How in the heck can we talk to whoever we want with no delay? Also – flat panel TVs, dude. Do you realize we are seeing a crystal clear, insanely bright, fifty-five inch wide, high resolution image on an apparatus that is less than an inch thick? That’s a far cry from the overhead projectors we had in school. Oh and – the Internet. Think about that one. You can carry around a sleek little netbook and have access to EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD from almost ANY PUBLIC PLACE.
I have said that to say this: you’d think that in a world with iPhones, organic LED TVs, and Internet everywhere, everything else would follow suit and get better and faster. You’d be wrong. I’m about to point out something in the following sentences that you’ve never consciously noticed, but has been driving you crazy. Sort of like when someone finally turns off a device that has been making a bunch of background noise all along and you suddenly realize how annoying it was once they turn it off.
There are a lot of differences between professional football, basketball, and baseball. We know that football is the best out of the three, and even though basketball sucks, there is no question that it is a distant runner up. That leaves baseball as the odd man out. I have been pondering why baseball sucks so bad. Just look at the outfield stands during baseball home run highlights. I challenge you to find a clip where the stands are actually full. Usually, there aren’t even any fans in those stands. In fact, take a look at the following informative maps which show the distribution of baseball, basketball, and football fans in America:
I have been asked a few times why I hate Nickelback so much. Well, hopefully after writing this blog post I can answer that question in the future by giving the person the URL to this article. Thanks, past self. You’re welcome, future self.
I was in the car today and forgot my iPod, so I had to listen to the radio. I came upon a gem of a song. And by “gem” I mean “turd” and by “song” I mean “homeless man”. It’s called “If Today Was Your Last Day” by Nickelback, and it is one of the worst songs I have ever heard. In fact, the only worse songs I’ve heard have been other Nickelback songs, like the one where he says something about looking at a photograph and he’s asking what the hell was on his friend Jimmy’s head or something like that. I hope you never have to hear it.
Certain things stand the test of time. To name a few: The Beatles, Seinfeld, original Star Wars, and hhhhwhiskey. The question I want to ask, right here, right now, is hhhhwhy? Why do some things stand the test of time no matter how widespread they become, yet other things get real old, real quick? I think it is because of the quality of the product. The more time, energy, and skill that goes into producing something, the longer it will stick around (duh). But what is a concrete sign that something was made with a higher skill level?
The answer is discretion. Too much of anything is not a good thing, and it usually ends up ruining a product. If you put too much of any one ingredient in a recipe, you ruin the recipe. Refer to the previous examples I gave, and you will see that they definitely follow this important guideline because they have been built with intentional discretion. Everyone loves Newman from Seinfeld, but he actually plays a very minor role. This is because the creators wanted you to get excited when you finally did see him, which made people want to watch the show. In a sense, it makes the show sort of feel fresh and always new.
Seriously, moviegoers?! You liked Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen?
There are two explanations for the way I feel about the downward-sloping overall quality of movies over the past few years. 1) I am getting older and my taste has become more refined, or 2) greed has ruined the movie industry by encouraging quantity over quality. Seeing as how my favorite cuisine is Taco Bell, I own a Nick Lachey album, and prefer Miller Lite when it comes to beers, the first explanation has to be impossible.
So, it’s greed. Greedy movie studio executives (is that redundant?) are buying up film rights to old cartoon franchises faster than Grand Theft Auto fanboys were buying San Andreas before it was pulled from the shelves in 2005. However, placing the blame for terrible movies on film execs is like blaming GM for the decline of domestic automobiles. Film execs represent a corporation, which exists solely to make money. They will do whatever they can get away with to cause consumers (which in the case of GM includes the government) to spend money on their product. While it is because of filmmakers that films are terrible, it is not their fault. The blame should be placed on the American consumer. You. It is your fault.
Remember that broad who Kissed A Girl? Also remember that girl from The Happening? Well if you haven’t figured it out by now, they look exactly alike. And I’m the first one who pointed it out.
Click this post to play a little game where I’ve included a picture of each person and labeled them A and B. Your job is to figure out which is which. This is a new type of game semantic that I’ve created which you have probably never seen before, so if you get confused just read the comments.
It is sad that this post is the reason my blog has had so many visits over the last year. Whoa whoa, hold on there. I didn’t say I regret writing it.
Hey, retired AOL using grandmas of the world. If you get this email, delete it immediately: Now that we’ve established the true point of this post, let’s delve into the grand gorge of gimcrack and discuss it for a bit. Clicking the link at the bottom of the email will take you to this website [...]
The Intarwebs are scary. Especially when they gots AJAX on them. Cuz it’s hard to get them out. There are so many elements that go into an ASP.NET 2.0 AJAX website: assemblies, controls, the script manager and whatnot. Don’t fret. I found a great reference for AJAX-enabling your existing ASP.NET 2.0 applications. I’ve been developing [...]
Actually, can I retract that? It’s really not appropriate to come up with any kind of favorites list when dealing with such topics as explosions, violence, war, etc. That being said, let’s do 2 things: 1. Realize no one was hurt in most of these explosions 2. Pretend the ones that were are teh bad [...]
Finally, after a day of waiting, B has unveiled its new name: The Gimcrack Miscellany You wish you would’ve thought of that, don’t you. Why am I not surprised. I have received a bit of resistance to the rename, and it’s because of the strong nostalgic ties we all have to the old B4 game, [...]
WTF was I thinking? I don’t think I had planned on taking my blog seriously. Now i regret the name because it’s not descriptive enough. The trouble is, the title “B” permeates my blog, especially throughout my Berating system. I’m going to have to be pretty clever in naming my blog so as to stay [...]
Finally, no more right-click Task Bar, select Toolbars, and uncheck The Language Bar every time I login to my Windows XP machine. I found a post about how to do this, and I’ll conveniently list the steps for you below: 1. Click the Start Button. 2. Select Control Panel option. 3. Double-Click the Regional and [...]
Yeah, he can definitely rock out when he wants to. He can also put you to sleep. That’s not a bad thing, unless it’s 11:00pm and you have to drive home after the concert and work the next day. I bought my tickets for this concert the moment they became available during the pre-sale, and [...]
Here’s my planet. I don’t know what that means, but it’s mine. Oh, and I also have resources: I can use those to build & fuel things. Plus, I’m working on upgrading all my mines to build up tons of resources (which will undoubtedly dwindle away faster than they’re stockpiled). Someday, I’ll be able to [...]
In case you didn’t get that, I’m asking where in the heck the English language went. Everything is said in acronym format now. idky, but even my bffs r doing it. It’s not like I’m just now realizing it. I’ve been emailing, texting, and talking this way for quite a while, especially amongst my geek [...]
So I was watching the MTV Video Music Awards last night… wait, let me stop myself right there. Why was I watching this train wreck of TV programming? Simple, because it’s just that: a train wreck. It’s so terrible you can’t look away. That, and I had been watching football since 1:00 pm and after [...]