Finally, after a day of waiting, B has unveiled its new name:
The Gimcrack Miscellany
You wish you would’ve thought of that, don’t you. Why am I not surprised.
I have received a bit of resistance to the rename, and it’s because of the strong nostalgic ties we all have to the old B4 game, the Beratings, and whatnot. I understand. But you must also understand my reasoning.
B is, as the Tickler put it, “fitting, pert, sustenant and healthy,” but so is a Snickers bar and you don’t see a lot of blogs out there called Snickers Bar Blog. Maybe that’s because it’s trademarked, I don’t know.
And don’t try to say a Snickers bar isn’t healthy. I guarantee if you gave one to a starving child in Africa he’d live at least 2 days longer than he would’ve if he’d gotten nothing. That directly equals health in my opinion, cause living’s healthier than dead.
So now that we’ve established that, although some adjectives are seemingly appealing in and of themselves, such as “pert” (probably why they named a shampoo after it), they shouldn’t necessarily be used to describe a blog title. More accurately, a blog title should meet at least 2 of the following 5 criteria that I just came up with while I was writing this sentence:
- It should be descriptive of its content
- It should contain a clever twist on a word, phrase, or idea
- It should be humorous
- It should contain obscure verbiage, loquacity, mellifluousness, or whatnot
- It should reference an existing phrase or expression
So, let’s dissect B’s new name.
The – establishes uniqueness. This is the only one of whatever it is, of which I know not.
Gimcrack – no, it’s not short for “give him crack”. As an adjective it means “showy but useless.” Plus it’s a funny word, especially in it’s longer form: gimcrackery. I’ve made a point to try to use it more often in day to day conversations.
Miscellany – generally it means “a miscellaneous collection of somewhat unrelated items.” It also commonly refers to “a miscellaneous collection of articles or entries, as in a book.”
When you put them together, you approximately get “an authority on a bunch of unrelated articles that ultimately have no long lasting meaning or effect,” or you can shorten that to “the blog of miscellaneous gewgaw and bric-a-brac”, or, even more abbreviated, and in it’s purest form, “The Gimcrack Miscellany”. Ah, there you are, Peter.
If you reference my criteria for a successful blog name, you’ll see that it actually meets 3 of the 5 criteria. 1) It’s as descriptive as you can get of whatever it is that I write about; 2) It’s funny; and 3) Unless you’re an old prospector from the wild west, it contains obscure verbiage and mellifluousness (it’s fun to say). Just take a look at Gus Chiggins if you don’t know what I mean:
Follow my simple set of criteria and you can have a blog that reeks of spending more time coming up with the title than actually writing posts, too!