9 Responses to “Top Fiver: Blacklisted Films”

  1. Chris 13 November 2007 at 1:02 pm #

    Wow, those movies are all like… middle of the road for me. I mean, they weren’t nearly as terrible as “Monster House” or “Delta Farce” or “300″ or “Ghost Rider” or “The Day After Tomorrow”… Ok, there’s my top five all time worst movies I’ve seen… in the last year (but not in that order).

    Do you remember going to see “A Knights Tale” for someone’s birthday based on my rousing endorsement of “It Wasn’t Terrible… I’d watch it again…”? I felt really dumb when everyone emerged from the theater absolutely hating it. I still think I’d watch it again, but only because it’s possibly the only movie I know of that has jousting… and jousting is cool… Even if the movie sucked else-wise…

  2. B 13 November 2007 at 1:21 pm #

    That’s hilarious, I didn’t know other people hated that movie with me. Yeah, those are all pretty bad movies ESPECIALLY Ghost Rider. OMG Blech!

    I’m sure there’s a lot of movies that are worse out there, I’ve just probably not gone to see most of them because I knew they were going to suck (i.e. Monster House, Delta Farce, The Day After Tomorrow, Tomb Raider 2, pretty much any other movie based off of a video game).

    300 wasn’t too bad. I mean if you’re talking wholesome or edifying or family-friendly it was terrible, but that’s just one category. I thought it had a good plot (it was based on an historical event right?), camera work, effects, music, awe-inspiring conflict. The plot may not have been too deep or complex, but overall it was just Braveheart in ancient Greece.

    I guess it depends on how many points you dock a movie for being filled with trashy scenes, no matter how good the movie is other-wise.

  3. Bradjward 13 November 2007 at 1:41 pm #

    You hate #5 so much, you didn’t even spell it right. That’s downright hatred. You know Sara hates being called Sarah.

    Yeah, these all pretty much suck. No disagreements here. However, if you were stupid enough to go to “Real Cancun” with 20 people in college like me, it would be at the top of your list. Only movie I ever walked out of.

  4. jonathan 13 November 2007 at 2:11 pm #

    That was possibly one of the funniest things I’ve read in quite a long time.

    It’s been a very long day at work. Thanks for giving me a break to laugh my face off (even though I was trying not to laugh *too* loud and attract attention).

    Wow. I needed that.

  5. Shark 14 November 2007 at 11:04 am #

    Completely disagree with you on Any Given Sunday… the only one on your list that I’ve seen (the others were marked “avoid” as soon as I saw the trailers). That may not have been a great film, but it was a good one. Thought it kept a nice level of tension and the camera/effects stuff is just Stone’s style. The male genitalia was crude and unnecessary, I’ll agree with you there.

    I would say that his “U-turn” was a far worse example of that style gone wrong.

    I would put “Batman and Robin” on the list for bad, bad , bad.

    Another interesting list idea might be movies that received critical and general acceptance, but that were really crap. I would put “Fight Club,” “The Usual Suspects”, Dream Girls and the “Big Lebowski” on such a list.I thought they were all utter crap but they were revered by others and in some cases won oscars.So what the hell do I know!

  6. B 14 November 2007 at 11:27 am #

    Haven’t seen U-turn, but I remember the previews and decided not to see it. Batman and Robin was entertaining and funny, but I agree that it was a lousy all around film. I would put it in my top 100 worst films, but I wouldn’t blacklist it. It was on the other day and I watched it for a bit just for the all-star cast and the stupid one-liners.

    I would never watch a second of a film on my blacklist. It’s hard for me to even write about them (I couldn’t do it for Tomb Raider).

    As for the movies you say are crap: I can’t believe you listed those. Three of them are three of my favorite movies, and one of them (The Big Lebowski) is on my Top Five Most Re-watchable Films list. You can’t knock the Coen Brothers, they are master storytellers.

    Fight Club was such a unique, amazing movie, as was The Usual Suspects. I’m beginning to think you have something against plot twists, because each of those movies has one of the greatest plot twists I’ve ever seen.

    That being said, I love your list idea: movies that received critical and general acceptance, but were really crap. I’ve thought about doing that before. Even though our lists might differ significantly, it’s a great idea. Think about Pearl Harbor, Ghost Rider, The Hulk, Troy, Alexander… yuck.

  7. Chris 15 November 2007 at 6:53 am #

    I think Alexander was one of the only movies I’ve ever walked out of. As soon as the dudes kissed, I was like “I’m out!”. Seriously, who wants to see that? Plus it seemed like the whole movie revolved around him deciding to be gay. Plus I was with my mom, wife and (at the time, little) sister, and I KNEW they didn’t want to/shouldn’t see that crap.

    You could also do a “most evil” movies top fiver. Put “The Ninth Gate” on the list. When I saw that in the theater THE FILM REEL MELTED IN FRONT OF OUR EYES. They had to cut and tape the non-melted parts back together. Either David Lashbrook or Matt Trent saw it with me, and we sat there quivering looking at the white screen. The whole theater was full of people, but dead silent. No one even moved for like 3 minutes. Then the film started back up to finally come to it’s horrible conclusion. At which point all watchers slothed out of there like some sort of zombies. As if part of our brains had melted from horror with the film.

    Another good top fiver would be “uncomfortable movies to watch with another guy”. Matt Trent and I went to see “What Women Want” together. What do you say to another dude at the end of a chick flick that you both went to see *together*? At one point in the movie, I began to feel awkward that we were sitting without a seat between us. We almost hatched a plan to leave at separate times and pretend we didn’t know each other until we got to the car…

  8. Elisha 16 November 2007 at 2:43 pm #

    Hilarious & entertaining post. Even when you’re NOT bored and are sitting in a coffee shop on Sanibel Island. (I just said all that to make you people jealous.)
    The first worst movie I ever saw, back in the early 80s and with the Trents (ask Fr. Z about it sometime), was Quest for Fire. Utterly horrid. There were no spoken words in the whole movie, just a lot of pre-evolution animal-like sub-humans running around looking for fire and doing such things as…never mind. That was the first time it occurred to me (unfortunately too late) that I could actually get up and walk out of a movie.
    Chris, a big “yup” on Alexander. Fortunately we all had the sense to walk out on that one.
    Most offensive movie that I didn’t walk out on (why oh why not???): Borat. Though clever and entertaining, we found it unspeakably offensive (speaking of unnecessary and just completely wrong male nudity).

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