Orthodox Paradox III: Conclusion? (Our Meeting Was Sabotaged)
Posted on 19. Jun, 2007 by The Gimcracker in Reference Burst Theory
I had to title this ‘conclusion’ because I previously stated that the ‘conclusion was to follow’, but I tacked on the question mark to confuse you so you don’t know if this is really the last post about the orthodox paradox. See, that’s what you have to do – you have to use your mind.
Since I wrote parts I and II our parish has conducted two “vision” meetings. These meetings were geared towards the 18 – 40 age range and they were originally planned in order to gather the thoughts of people who otherwise might not be compelled to give their opinions – whether out of fear, laziness, or simply that they don’t think it’s right to complain whenever something doesn’t go exactly how they want it to. I fall into all three of these categories, which is why I was so grateful that the vision meetings took place.
Amazingly, the second meeting had as many attendees that I thought didn’t fit the meeting’s demographic as those who did. I’m obviously not going to name names (with the exception of my own and possibly my parish’s rector), but there were two people in particular who I thought sabotaged the meeting.
Saboteur 1
Let me preface with a little history of our parish. About 25 to 30 years ago a bunch of people wanted to live in the same community and worship together, so they did it in a place they could afford: West Indianapolis. Today, most of these people have long since moved away, and their offspring are making the decision either to stay in the neighborhood (henceforth “the Hood”) or to leave it. This means that our church is now a mixture of people living in the community around the church and people commuting from other areas of town.
Saboteur 1 apparently did not realize that. She went on for 30 minutes about topics involving the Hood, such as reaching out and lending a helping hand, what we were going to do with land around the building, and how we can team up with local organizations to further the development of the Hood. This would have been a good idea if the meeting was about that, and I can hear her now: “Of course it’s about that – that’s part of our church vision as a whole!” It may be, but we’ve been talking about that for years, and this is the first time people in my age group with my mindset have had a chance to talk about the things we want to talk about (hence the 18-40 age limit), which does not involve the Hood. Let’s have a meeting tomorrow to talk about the Hood, but let’s leave it out of today’s meeting.
One more point regarding the Hood and then I’ll move on to Saboteur 2. During the meeting someone made a point that if a house was burning down in the Hood he knew that we would all lend a helping hand and do everything in our power to help the victims. I’ve also heard time and time again how we need to reach out to our neighbors and help them, because they need our help more than anyone, and just being there helps them, and the Hood wouldn’t be what it is without us, etc. What if someone’s apartment in my complex burned down? Would we lend the same helping hand to them? I realize that our church can’t help every single person and can only focus on one neighborhood at a time, but it’s the principal of the thing.
I agree with all the reasons people have for being in the Hood, I just want them to agree with all the reasons I am not. Just because someone is poor doesn’t mean they need God’s help more than someone who is doing just fine in the suburbs. In fact, if you cleverly used some Bible verses about rich vs. poor (which I’m not prone to do as I really need to read it more before I can make statements about it), you could argue the point that the people in the Hood are already closer to God than people in the suburbs who are preoccupied with their 3-car garages and 24′ in-ground pools. I would also argue that I am much more effective in witnessing to someone that I have a lot in common with, and those kinds of people just don’t live in the Hood. In summary, all people need help, poor simply does not equal bad, and our church is made up of people from all over the city, including a good amount of people that are too concerned with helping out their neighbors and the struggles in their daily lives to notice what’s going on in the Hood.
Saboteur 2
This is a long post, so I’ll try to refrain from going into great detail (although I probably will anyway) about saboteur 2, except to say that she should learn to control her emotions if she wants to get through to people in a public forum. I was greatly offended by her outbursts, especially since she was completely stifling the one meeting that we’ve ever had where we have been able to talk directly to our parish priests about what we want to change.
As soon as we finally got into a great discussion about the particulars of our lengthy, abrasive services, saboteur 2 had to go and ruin it by doing the following things (in chronological order):
- 1. Stop the flow of the meeting by interrupting my wife
- 2. Sit there for 15 seconds trying to figure out what she was going to say
- 3. Cry
- 4. Tell an irrelevant story about her life
- 5. Yell, and I really do mean holler at the top of her lungs
A few things about saboteur 2: She is very close to the age limit for the meeting, she has been a member of our church for a maximum of 2 years, shows up halfway through the service (and that’s every other week when she actually comes), and doesn’t live anywhere near the Hood. Now, before you go getting angry about how judgmental that sounded, realize that I am only stating those observations to express how little she is involved with the history of our church. I’m sure during the times she’s not at our church she is attending the other Orthodox church she came from (St. George’s maybe?), so that is not an attack on her character.
Why would someone with such a limited understanding of our parish come to a vision meeting, hijack it, and stifle all the creative visioning we were accomplishing? I don’t know the answer to that, but I know it has something to do with the greater Orthodox Paradox theory that I have been discussing.
Having a problem with people who have different viewpoints? Don’t like to use logic? Hate change and think it’s unhealthy? Tired of using that pesky brain God gave you? Hide behind spirituality! You don’t have to worry about making points to backup your ideas, just cry and talk about the Lord’s mercy in your life and everything works out!
My solution is for the parish rectors in the Orthodox churches across America to listen to the future of their churches (the 18-40 crowd) just as much as they listen to the history of their churches (the over 40 crowd) and use the discernment God gives them to find the balance that causes their church to grow. We can blindly accept and follow the guidelines given to us all the way down to what melody we use to sing “Lord, Have Mercy”, but if our church isn’t growing it’s all for naught.
If you can tell me which movie I quoted in this post, I’ll give you a dollar next time I see you, if I have a dollar on my person at that point in time, and if you are the first one to tell me. No purchase necessary, valid only for US residents, limited time offer. Hint: it’s somewhere in the first three paragraphs.
OMFG. Unbelievable.
Why didn’t someone make the hurting stop? Was there not anyone leading the meeting?
Those people should have received a loving swift kick out the door, with an explanation that these things they are doing are the EXACT reason why people want to leave, and why you needed a meeting WITHOUT them in the first place…
I am happy that all of my WTF are usually quarantined to waitresses, salesmen and internet browsers. This makes me afraid of big churches. Although I do admit that my church has it’s own problems, just less people, so less variety, and less often…
Oh, and mad props for recognizing that the poor are not the only ones who need our help. It’s just the feel good liberal mentality to throw a bag of money at the poor and think that you did some good, when really all you did was gave someone who does not know how to handle money, a bunch of money that they are now going to handle poorly and probably get themselves into an even bigger mess than they were in before…
Well, let’s just say I rebutted the hijacking comments immediately and reclaimed control of the meeting, but the fact remains that it still happened.
Big churches? I don’t know if I call a church of 60-90 regular attendees big. I have a lot of friends who go to churches of a thousand or more… that’s big. And the good thing about a big church is that it is less likely to become ingrown and more likely to contain different points of view. I would call ours a medium size church, if that.
I agree that some individuals shouldn’t have been at the meeting. I’m not sure what to do about that though. I guess you really can’t start picking and choosing who to invite. That’s the problem with opening up the floor like that, you get a lot of disagreement. I thrive on disagreement, but this meeting was more than differing opinions, it was differing viewpoints as to what the meeting was even about in the first place.
Where do I even begin…
That’s a good idea Luke, just don’t.
Although I’m sure I would have much to say on this if I had the time, I’m just hoping to win some money.
Office Space? Like the guy who invented the pet rock?
Thou thyself hast said it – and so I shant rant.
Cheers!
Art wins the prize! One big honkin dollar is coming your way. Notice how I didn’t include the word “bill” in there, which means it could be made up of various coins.
“it is less likely to become ingrown and more likely to contain different points of view”
True.
Also, I thought your church was more like 300, so it’s really not nearly as big as I thought…
Glad to hear you reclaimed the meeting. Nice job.
Every church has it’s problems. Whether it be a certain Nazi or a schizo loudmouth… No offense to either of those two I just called out, we still love you. In fact, the fact that we choose not to hate you shows that we love you even more than people who are ‘easily’ love-able, even if we do complain about you…
Wow, now that’s some name callin’. I wouldn’t go that far, for the record. I appreciate the sentiment though, and I’m still trying to figure out your logic at the end there… LOL
Seriously, I get what you’re saying though.