The True Man’s Sport
Posted on 11. Mar, 2008 by The Gimcracker in Manliness, Sports
Hockey. I attend an annual Illini hockey game with a bunch of my friends. If anyone knows me, they know I turn insane with joy when there’s even a hint of a disagreement between two players which could possibly end up as a pathetic, wavering, unbalanced, slippery fight. Had I attended the hockey game in the following video, the rest of my life would have been a dull, empty shell of a once vibrant and hopeful life compared to the glory of that game. That’s right, I currently consider my life vibrant.
Man, just watch how absolutely blissful the fans are. You can tell there’s a hockey fighting code that the players all abide by, because there’s almost never a 2 on 1 situation. It’s an art form.
Don’t you dare turn the video off before it’s done. Have you not learned your lesson from the other videos I’ve posted? 2:50 = body slam, FYI.
I know this takes away from the glory of the first video, but it’s just a short instructional video on life. Go on, watch it. The moral is to hit the other guy harder than he hits you. It appears to work very well.
After I watched these clips I was inspired and tried to pick a fight with one of the nice little ladies over in operations, who unfortunately declined. She wouldn’t have stood a chance! Why? LOL Because I out weigh her by 50 pounds and I’m a foot taller than her, DUH. Plus she’s 50 years old. She definitely would have went down hard, I really hope she knows that.
So my point remains: hockey is the true MAN’s sport. And based on this post and how it affects me you can see how it clearly makes our planet better, and life.
First of all, why is it that sometimes refs will break up two players before they start fighting, but sometimes they’ll just let them go?
Secondly, it’s hilarious in the first video how the announcers automatically switch from calling the game to doing a play-by-play of the fight. “…and now Ray trying to come over the top with a right hand of his own…” LOLZ.
I really don’t know the answer to that but I watched one video where the guys circled around each other and sized each other up for about 30 seconds without ever hitting eachother, and then the refs broke them up.
I need to get my hands on the Book of Hockey Code so I can understand all these unspoken rules they live by. Or they’ve all been knocked on the head so many times they’re all just the same level of dumbness and it looks to us like they’re following some unspoken code. Either way, that’s pretty manly if you think about it.
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