Chad Johnson or Ocho-Cinco or Blond-Fauxhawk wants to Tweet during NFL games. Apparently he has run out of things to distract him from actually playing good football: changing his name, dogging his teammates, doing dances in the end-zone, sporting a blond mohawk, pouring popcorn into his mouth through his helmet on the sidelines (or was that T.O?), etc. I think he should focus on scoring more than 4 measly touchdowns this season. Chad Johnson my friend you have just been burned by the eternal flame of TGM.
But as much as I’d love to just keep making fun of Chad Botcho-Cinco, there is something that I hate even worse, and that is Twitter. You see, Twitter is like Agent Smith from one of those sequels of The Matrix where he infects people by sticking his hand into them and they become a replica. One Agent Smith isn’t so hard to handle, but a thousand of them is a different story. Well Twitter is infecting us and turning us into mindless drones that perpetuate it’s existence. I am the Neo of the world of Twitter. I don’t know why I have been given this extreme responsibility, but I am taking it very seriously and I will not stop until Twitter becomes the Internet equivalent of Creed (it will still have a huge following, but at least the rest of the world will make fun of it relentlessly).
The moral of the story here is that it’s not Peyton Manning or Tony Gonzales that’s wanting to Twitter, it’s the dumbest player in the league. It’s only fitting that he would be the one that wants to use the dumbest service on the web during games. Do you really want to be using the same thing that a guy like Chad Johnson is using?