NFL Theme Songs

Posted by The Gimcracker in Music, Sports on 05. Aug, 2009 | 8 Comments

Thursday, September 10th, at 8:30PM the Titans and Steelers will open the 2009 NFL season. I have embedded a convenient countdown timer for your benefit. Except I couldn’t put in a time so it’s counting down to midnight of September 9th. Close enough.

Around this time every year I usually do a blog post to get us hyped up for football season. For the 2007 season I posted an awesome Nike commercial that gets you hyped up no matter what. For the 2008 season I posted a funny Jim Mora commercial that will make you laugh as well as get you hyped up no matter what. Sometimes I even do it mid-year, like in December 2007 when I hit you with a post with awesome NFL photos which is guaranteed to make you wish you played in the NFL and also get you hyped up no matter what.

This year I have been inspired by the sound of music. I have obtained samples of all the various NFL themes. You will be surprised at how many of these you know, and how you didn’t realize they were actually different songs. Even if you’re a girl, or are not a football fan, or both, I guarantee you will recognize 90% of these themes. You won’t know how, but you’ll recognize them, I promise.

How Twilight Should Have Ended

Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies on 22. Jul, 2009 | 2 Comments

I know a girl who is probably going to read this and probably going to get upset with me because she is probably the #1 fan of Twilight ever. You know who you are. Look on the bright side, you got mentioned on TGM! You are now in the company of Katy Perry, Micheal Bay, Bill Bellichick, and Twitter. Except the difference is I hate all of them and I love you like a sister. Man, all I had to do was come up with this simple simple simple idea and I could have been on the front page of Digg today:

Seriously, People Are Dying?!

Posted by The Gimcracker in Music, Reference Burst Theory, Seriously?! on 09. Jul, 2009 | No Comments

Isn’t it crazy how many people have died recently? I’m talking about famous people, who are worth at least 10 regular people. The recent events remind me of not one but two separate topics I have previously written about in this blog. The first is obviously Reference Burst Theory where celebrities die in threes, because within two days Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Micheal Jackson died (some would say there was a second wave with Billy Mays, Karl Maldon, and Steve McNair). But the second topic is what I would call your attention to now, and that’s the idea of people becoming proverbial saints upon death, which I touched on in my award-winning blog post entitled “Alive One Minute, Saint The Next” written in November 2007. Seriously, Everyone On Earth?! This Micheal Jackson stuff is getting ridiculous. That’s the end of this article so there’s no reason to click the title, sorry.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – BERATED!

Posted by The Gimcracker in Beratings, Movies on 26. Jun, 2009 | 11 Comments

Michael Bay is a 15 year old boy trapped in a man’s body (and in the ’90s). He gets older, his movies stay the same age. I don’t know why I keep seeing his movies. I guess it is because when I was 15 I saw The Rock and it rocked (sorry) my 15-year-old little brain that desired nothing but violence/sex/wreckage/fast cars and had no time for character development, real-life situations, or dialogue. At the risk of sounding pretentious, Revenge of the Fallen is for one of two groups: A) 15 year old boys (or anyone with the mental capacity of a 15 year old boy), and B) people who are willing to forgo their dignity to publicly oggle over Megan Fox and Isabel Lucas for 2 hours (actually this is just another way of describing group A).

If you refer to the image I have conveniently included above, you will see a snapshot of exactly what this movie is: Shia is intense and scared, Megan is slightly less intense and scared and her breasts are half exposed, and they are surrounded by wreckage and GM cars. If that is what you want out of life then GO SEE THIS MOVIE RIGHT NOW WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! Also when you’re done seeing Transformers rent the movie Idiocracy and tell me if you “get it” or not. You won’t.

Martin Scorcese’s New Movie Is Called “Shutter Island”

Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies, News on 11. Jun, 2009 | 2 Comments

This is the first I’ve heard of his new movie (trailer after the jump). You probably know all about it and I’m way behind the times and all of that, but I still wanted to bring attention to it. Let’s talk about a few things. First things first, it looks really good. Secondly, it’s a horror film. By Martin Scorcese. That’s like Taco Bell coming out with a hamburger meal (who cares if it’s good, you have to try it!). Third, it’s Leo Decaprio again. I’m a fan of his especially after his performance in The Departed. Speaking of The Departed, that brings me to my final point: he has a Boston accent AGAIN. What’s with him having accents in all his movies nowadays?

People Are Beginning To Agree That Twitter Is Dumb

Posted by The Gimcracker in Television, Twitter Sucks on 11. Jun, 2009 | 1 Comment

I read an interesting article called Orphaned Tweets about the large number of people that sign up for Twitter, post one tweet, and never return. Well good golly I’m not the only one then. Two interesting statements from the article are “10 percent of Twitter users account for 90 percent of the tweets” and “60 percent of users do not return from one month to the next”. Both facts are alarming and here’s why.

Seriously, Multigrain Cheerios?!

Posted by The Gimcracker in Men Vs. Women, Seriously?!, Television on 02. Jun, 2009 | 7 Comments

Have you seen one of the worst commercials on television yet? It’s a married couple in a kitchen that looks like it’s from a mental institution (because it’s all white washed and because the people in it are mentally insane) talking about Multigrain Cheerios. As in the majority of commercials these days, the wife comes off as much smarter than her bumbling, stammering husband. It’s not the wife’s behavior that is the problem, it is the husband’s.

It is a husband’s responsibility to zing his wife back. If he doesn’t, the ensuing relationship is his own fault. However if my wife ever smiled at me as condescendingly as the woman in this commercial I would probably throw up all my lunches from the past 4 days straight into her little bowl of soggy oat rings. It literally makes me gag just watching it. It makes me GOL (that’s a real thing starting now).

I Am A Big Fan Of Gabriel Delahaye

Posted by The Gimcracker in Blogging, Gaming, ROFL, Stuff On The Internet on 26. May, 2009 | No Comments

I already know of one Gabe who is really funny on the Internet, and that’s the one who writes for Penny Arcade. Surely there can’t be two Gabes who are really funny on the Internet. Well I have found a second Gabe who is even better than the first one. He is my favorite person in all of the Internet/TV/Movies/Culture/All this month.

Let me begin by introducing you to him in a way that will immediately show you what he’s all about. That way you can watch this first video and decide if A) you agree with me and want to find out more by reading the rest of the post and commenting about how much you agree, or B) you don’t agree and you don’t feel like wasting your time. Most bloggers wouldn’t be so courteous as to help you with major Internet decisions like this. TMG’s a little different. A special different.

“The Hangover” Will Be Amazing

Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies on 20. May, 2009 | No Comments

The Hangover is going to be the funniest movie to come out in at least 6 years. What is the last movie where you laughed so hard no noise came out? The answer is Old School where dude gets a dart in the neck. That is also one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. If you disagree then you should stop reading and go watch Dodgeball which is your favorite movie.

Sherlock Holmes Trailer

Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies on 19. May, 2009 | 3 Comments

This is a movie coming out called Sherlock Holmes starring Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes. Can I get enough Robert Downey Jr.? The answer is no. No is the answer to that question. Also of note: Jude Law as Watson, Rachel McAdams as some broad, and directed by Guy “Snatch” Richie. Great combo!!! The only thing that could make this better would be if the actors ate volcano tacos from Taco Bell many times throughout the movie.

And to answer your question of whether or not there are super-slow motion scenes of men punching each other: yes there are. Video after the jump.

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