Nickelback vs. Radiohead (Seriously?!)
Posted by The Gimcracker in Music, Seriously?! on 26. Feb, 2010 | 8 Comments
I have been asked a few times why I hate Nickelback so much. Well, hopefully after writing this blog post I can answer that question in the future by giving the person the URL to this article. Thanks, past self. You’re welcome, future self.
I was in the car today and forgot my iPod, so I had to listen to the radio. I came upon a gem of a song. And by “gem” I mean “turd” and by “song” I mean “homeless man”. It’s called “If Today Was Your Last Day” by Nickelback, and it is one of the worst songs I have ever heard. In fact, the only worse songs I’ve heard have been other Nickelback songs, like the one where he says something about looking at a photograph and he’s asking what the hell was on his friend Jimmy’s head or something like that. I hope you never have to hear it.
How To Balance Video Games & Facebook
Posted by The Gimcracker in Gaming, Twitter Sucks on 17. Feb, 2010 | 5 Comments
This video presents a conundrum to me. It attacks the video game industry, which obviously offends me. But it also attacks the social media industry, which fills me with great exuberance. I’m left torn and conflicted, bouncing back and forth between emotions, trying to figure out what my overall reaction is. This does not happen to me. The Gimcracker exists to bust you upside your head with knowledge. It is always my goal to f*** you up with some truth. If you can name what show I just quoted I will friend request you on Facebook and follow you on Twitter immediately. Sike. Watch this video and tell me your reaction. I’d love to hear what you think about it:
Seriously, AciPhex?!
Posted by The Gimcracker in ROFL, Seriously?! on 12. Jan, 2010 | No Comments
This is a thing. A real thing. It’s a medication to treat acid reflux disease. What did they call it? AciPhex, naturally. Wait a second… AciPhex? Assiphex? Ass effects? No, no that can’t be right. Well yes, actually, that’s exactly how it’s pronounced. ASS EFFECTS. See for yourself – watch the commercial and try to keep a straight face:
Avatar Berated
Posted by The Gimcracker in Beratings, Movies on 30. Dec, 2009 | 3 Comments
Have you ever been so immersed in a story or character that you forget it is not real? Avatar does that to you. After seeing the film, it’s hard to remember that the blue-skinned alien race called the Na’vi doesn’t actually exist. It’s hard to imagine that Biff from Back To The Future isn’t a jerk in real life. Or that Middle Earth isn’t a real place. It’s because of good film-making that those things are so convincing. If I could sum up Avatar in a single phrase, it wouldn’t be “master storytelling”, “heart-wrenching drama”, “superb characters”, or even “ground-breaking”, it would simply be “superb film-making”. James Cameron knows how to make a film into an event that you can’t miss. Audiences were greatly affected by movies like The Terminator, Aliens, and Titanic. Well we can definitely add Avatar to the ever-growing list of must-sees in the theater.
Delete Your Facebook Account
Posted by The Gimcracker in Twitter Sucks on 16. Dec, 2009 | 4 Comments
There are a lot of reasons to delete your Facebook account, and I’ve been over a lot of them. But this is the final straw. Get out while you can! Facebook just made all of your stuff public. That’s right, your friends lists, profile pics, fan pages, and network memberships are all public now. I’m so glad I deleted my account permanently (which was rocket science to do, by the way). You should too! If not because it’s a huge waste of time, makes your relationships with some people awkward, and glorifies extroverts and annoying ego-centric people, do it because they are violating your freedom!
Top Fiver: Hottest Things Right Now
Posted by The Gimcracker in Top Fivers on 03. Dec, 2009 | 3 Comments
When you’re talking about the top five hottest things right now, you have to think about all the popular things that everybody likes, and then you gotta just take the top five of them.
That sentence was written in homage to the great John Madden, because, yes, this post is very madden-esque and I’m totally pointing out the obvious. Still, it is fun to see how dominating certain franchises, institutions, and brands really are. Everyone knows Google is the largest search engine, but sometimes it’s fun to see just how much more successful it is than Yahoo and MSN.
How did I choose this list? Well, it could have been something like Coke, McDonald’s, Nike, John Deere, and Chrysler (jk Chrysler). But those things are old, and I wanted this to be a list of things that are particularly hot right now. That means things that have seen fairly large growth over recent years, and have clearly shown their superiority in what once was a competitive market.
So, without further ado, I give you the top five hottest things right now, listed in order of market share dominance.
Bleak Friday
Posted by The Gimcracker in Black Friday Watch, Gimcrackery on 24. Nov, 2009 | 3 Comments
I have to work the Friday after Thanksgiving. I used to think this was a bad thing, and it seems like everyone else has that day off. But this year, after looking through the morbidly obese Sunday paper and seeing all of the “Black Friday” deals, I decided it was actually a good thing, since it meant I didn’t even have the option to shop that day. Black Friday makes me sick. The problem is, like most evil things, it is so appealing in some ways. For instance, I saw that BluRays are going to be like $6. I saw the Cannon T1i (a $900 camera) is going for $699. I saw an xbox 360 for $299… WITH SIX GAMES. So there is definitely that element of intrigue there. But it’s evil, right? Yes. Maybe these low-down, dirty examples of Black Friday ads will disgust you enough to hammer that idea home.
LOLheads – The Belichad Kroeger (aka The Nickelchick)
Posted by The Gimcracker in LOLheads, Sports on 23. Nov, 2009 | No Comments
It’s been quite a while since we had a Bill Belichick sighting, probably because during the off season he retreats to his mansion in Croatia and watches Lacrosse while listening to Bon Jovi albums. He was a little busier than usual this off-season bailing his son out of trouble for under-age drinking and pot possession. He was almost kicked off the Lacrosse team! But all that is behind him because the NFL season is fully underway and he’s back in the spotlight. Belichick’s rise to fame, proceeded by it’s rapid decline due to unsportsmanlike conduct and cheating, followed by it’s sharp drop-off after a retarded coaching decision against the Colts last week, bears resemblance to the front man of a particular 2000′s-era Canadian rock band. In fact, they have a lot of things in common, particularly the fact that they are both insanely successful despite being universally hated by most of the fans in their industry. I think you will know who I’m talking about when you see this recent Belichick sighting from yesterday afternoon:
Seriously, NBC?!
Posted by The Gimcracker in Seriously?!, Television, Theory & Philosophy on 20. Nov, 2009 | 2 Comments
I know what you’re thinking: two Seriously?! posts about television networks, back to back? The economy is in bad shape, man, and it affects everyone. Or I watched a little too much TV this week. So, did you happen to catch any of the programming on NBC last night, namely The Office and 30 Rock? If you did, you may now loose the wire around your neck – it’s not worth killing yourself. If you didn’t, I just want you to know that this blog post is not exaggerated – these things actually occurred on this planet in this dimension in this country in my living room.
Apparently it is “Green Week” or something (didn’t know that) and NBC is the most liberally-biased network there is (did know that), which is a very annoying combination. Before I tell you what happened, let me refresh you with our classic TGM political disclaimers. I am neither conservative nor liberal on all matters, and I do not fall into either of the groups in the two one-party system. If NBC was ultra-conservative instead of liberal, and it was like “Gun Week” or something, then I would be equally annoyed. Glad we cleared that up. So, what hoopla went on last night, besides a pot-head scoring 3 TDs against Carolina?
Seriously, Sportscenter?!
Posted by The Gimcracker in Seriously?!, Sports on 16. Nov, 2009 | 2 Comments
I just need to vent for a second about the coverage that I have seen in the media regarding the 11/16/09 Sunday night Colts vs. Patriots game, and this is just in the 12 hours after the game. I’m not going to waste a lot of your time, and I wasn’t going to do a post about the game because it sort of speaks for itself. But by golly someone needs to stand up and defend the Colts against this biased, band-wagon jumping, star-struck, Tom Brady-loving nation.
