Paranormal Activity Berated

Posted by The Gimcracker in Beratings, Movies on 30. Oct, 2009 | 1 Comment

There’s something inside of me that wants to be scared, and that’s why I am constantly pursuing the feeling of fear, whether it’s riding the most thrilling roller coaster on the face of the planet (Top Thrill Dragster at Cedar Point), camping in the middle of the deep dark woods, or seeing scary movies. Coasters and camping are still able to invoke a decent amount of fear in me (although not as much as they used to), but movies are unable to do so. I have not been truly scared of a movie for a long time. That is, until last night.

There have been some good movies that have come close. For instance, The Ring scared me, as did The Others and 1408. And I’m not talking about jumping out of my seat because something on the screen startled me, I’m referring to the sort of scared that sticks with you and interferes with your sleep. I realize that there are a lot of people out there who absolutely do not want to be scared in this way, and that is just fine. But if you are like me and you secretly love that rare feeling of truly being frightened to your core, then go see Paranormal Activity in the theaters as soon as possible.

Almost Perfect Liberal vs. Conservative Infographic

Posted by The Gimcracker in Theory & Philosophy on 21. Oct, 2009 | 3 Comments

I don’t really write political posts because I believe talking politics on a blog is like talking about your bills while you’re on a tropical vacation. It’s so pointless and boring that the only thing that could possibly motivate you to do it is hate, pride, or some hidden agenda. That being said, let’s talk about politics on my blog. You can’t stop me because if you’re reading this it means I’ve already posted this article and it is now bouncing around the ‘tubes forever.

What is the difference between Left wing vs. Right wing politics? It seems like everyone’s an expert when it comes to this, and most people I have met are either Liberal or Conservative – despising the other party. Liberals hate Limbaugh, Beck, and Fox News. Conservatives hate Gore, Jackson, and CNN. That’s the way it is. Well I consider myself a little different, and I’m not saying this to toot my own horn or to cop out of the debate, but I can actually see both sides! That’s why I love this infographic. Check it out – it’s a beautiful, almost perfect side-by-side comparison of the Left versus the Right when it comes to government.

Mario 3: Things That Only Appear Once

Posted by The Gimcracker in Gaming on 15. Oct, 2009 | 2 Comments

Certain things stand the test of time. To name a few: The Beatles, Seinfeld, original Star Wars, and hhhhwhiskey. The question I want to ask, right here, right now, is hhhhwhy? Why do some things stand the test of time no matter how widespread they become, yet other things get real old, real quick? I think it is because of the quality of the product. The more time, energy, and skill that goes into producing something, the longer it will stick around (duh). But what is a concrete sign that something was made with a higher skill level?

The answer is discretion. Too much of anything is not a good thing, and it usually ends up ruining a product. If you put too much of any one ingredient in a recipe, you ruin the recipe. Refer to the previous examples I gave, and you will see that they definitely follow this important guideline because they have been built with intentional discretion. Everyone loves Newman from Seinfeld, but he actually plays a very minor role. This is because the creators wanted you to get excited when you finally did see him, which made people want to watch the show. In a sense, it makes the show sort of feel fresh and always new.

All-Time Greatest Game Hero

Posted by The Gimcracker in Gaming on 08. Oct, 2009 | No Comments

Gamespot is doing a huge bracket with 64 of the greatest game heroes of all time. Currently it is the final round and the heroes battling for the championship are Mario and Gordon Freeman. View the widget in this blog post to vote!

Tallest Building In The World – Exterior Completed

Posted by The Gimcracker in News, Technology on 08. Oct, 2009 | No Comments

The tallest structure ever built is complete. The Burj Dubai has been under construction since 2004, located in Dubai, UAE (that’s in the Middle East if you don’t know). It is one of the most beautiful buildings I’ve ever seen, in one of the most beautiful cities (structurally) I’ve ever seen. It is 2,684 feet tall with 160 floors, and it’s GIGANTIC. The record for tallest skyskraper in the world has been broken several times recently, but the Burj Dubai not only broke the record, it broke the record for how much a record was broken by. To give you an idea of how tall this building is, let me show you some images and compare it with other supertall buildings.

A Bunch of Beratings At Once! A Gaggle Of Them!

Posted by The Gimcracker in Beratings, Movies on 01. Sep, 2009 | No Comments

Did you know a gaggle only refers to geese on the ground? In the air they’re referred to as a skein. I don’t know why I told you that. Maybe you should Twitter it you twidiot1. I don’t always have time to Berate a movie after I’ve seen it because I have a job and a wife and there’s beer to be drunk and I’m too busy retweeting about Conan episodes that make fun of Twitter. J/k, what is a retweet? Is it something? Because I think I’ve heard of it. So I’ve decided that I still want to have a record of my reaction to movies I’ve seen even if I don’t have the time to write a full Berating, and in doing so I have made up my second new word of this blog post: Briefratings2. And you’re about to get a gaggle of them and agree with everything I write as usual. (I’ll do whatever I have to do to get you to comment on TGM).

District 9 – Berated

Posted by The Gimcracker in Beratings, Movies on 31. Aug, 2009 | 2 Comments

District 9 is one of those rare gems where the cast is made up of entirely unknowns, directed by an unknown, and set in an unknown place (there’s a city in South Africa with buildings? is South Africa like a country or something? more ignorant questions). That’s why it’s such a good movie. It’s like Star Wars IV or Cloverfield or Napoleon Dynamite. I guess what I’m saying is it can only go down from here. So let’s all enjoy this movie while we still can. Everyone go out and see this movie and support directors that make special effects who are not Micheal Bay. Do it for the children.

Circle Of Life

Posted by The Gimcracker in Stuff On The Internet on 28. Aug, 2009 | No Comments

This is today’s Penny Arcade comic strip. It is probably one of my favorite PA’s of all time. So simple. So Poignant. There should be another panel with Rorschach from Watchmen stalking Batman stalking the Splinter Cell guy stalking the goon, and then even one more panel after that with Chuck Norris stalking Rorschach. Whoa. [...]

Study: 8.7% of Tweets Have Pass-Along Value

Posted by The Gimcracker in Twitter Sucks on 17. Aug, 2009 | 3 Comments

Twitter is a black hole. It is a singularity event. And it has been scientifically proven. I realize the image I made doesn’t make sense because the Twitter bird should be the actual black hole, not being sucked into it. So? Why don’t you go tweet about it.

This study done by Pear Analytics shows that most Twitter Tweets are meaningless and have no pass-along value. In fact, 40.5% of Tweets are classified as “Pointless Babble”, which is what I hate most about Twitter. “I just woke up and it’s raining outside.” Well whoopty-freaking-do. Tweeting something like that means only one of two things (as has been discussed quite frequently at TGM beforelol): 1) you have no real friends to tell, or 2) your ego is so big that you think people actually care.

So how is Twitter a black hole? You’re about to find out.

Most People Like Terrible Movies

Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies, Seriously?! on 11. Aug, 2009 | 3 Comments

Seriously, moviegoers?! You liked Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen?

There are two explanations for the way I feel about the downward-sloping overall quality of movies over the past few years. 1) I am getting older and my taste has become more refined, or 2) greed has ruined the movie industry by encouraging quantity over quality. Seeing as how my favorite cuisine is Taco Bell, I own a Nick Lachey album, and prefer Miller Lite when it comes to beers, the first explanation has to be impossible.

So, it’s greed. Greedy movie studio executives (is that redundant?) are buying up film rights to old cartoon franchises faster than Grand Theft Auto fanboys were buying San Andreas before it was pulled from the shelves in 2005. However, placing the blame for terrible movies on film execs is like blaming GM for the decline of domestic automobiles. Film execs represent a corporation, which exists solely to make money. They will do whatever they can get away with to cause consumers (which in the case of GM includes the government) to spend money on their product. While it is because of filmmakers that films are terrible, it is not their fault. The blame should be placed on the American consumer. You. It is your fault.

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