Ashton & Demi are threatening Twitter, or us, or someone, to leave Twitter if it does a TV show. Why? Why are you doing that? I think they are mumbling something about invasion of privacy, being stalked, and intrusion on their personal lives. Do they not know what it is? Do they use it every day and not know what Twitter is?
I’m always looking for reasons to create new blog categories that I’ll get tired of and not fulfill in the future (“Office-Graphs”, “B-Ratings”, “LOL-heads”, “pictures-of-hot-singers-that-look-like-hot-actresses-that-attract-12-year-old-girls-and-68-year-old-men-in-order-to-artificially-inflate-my-blog-statistics”).
In the past, each time I have created a new series the premise has intentionally gotten simpler because I want to increase the likelihood that I will actually keep the idea going. It has never worked. So let’s just go into my newest idea with low expectations.
By now you know I’m against tweeting on Twitter (I don’t have a problem if you use Twitter to follow interesting/professional/famous peoples’ tweets, though). I have always been adamantly opposed to the shift in our society towards zero privacy, and Twitter is a huge jump towards that end. So, naturally, I’m opposed to the idea of regular people using Twitter to tweet what they’re doing at all times.
People (Ashton Kutcher) say that Twitter is great because it lets us become the sources and broadcasters of news. Well, who is “us”? If “us” means “regular people”, then my response to that is: we already do! If my regular old next door neighbor Joe wants to be a news broadcaster, no one’s stopping him. All he has to do is go to college and learn how. If he wants to be the source of news, then he can do that too! All he has to do is go out and do something newsworthy like save (or take) someone’s life, crash a car into a gas station, or win a hot dog eating contest. Regular people do that kind of stuff all the time and then other regular people who went to school for journalism report on it.
Sadly, most people on Twitter are tweeting because they are narcissistic and think people care about every mundane detail of their lives. To this day I have no idea how so many people became like this.
There is a way to use Twitter legitimately. It’s actually the reason Twitter was built and how it was meant to be used, even if the founders of Twitter don’t know it. It is illustrated in the image after the jump.
Two years ago today, on April 4th, 2007, the Gimcrack Miscellany (at that point named “B”) dove into the annals of Interwebbery with its first post. Since then, lives have been changed, baby kittens have been born and slaughtered (probably somewhere – I know that’s harsh), Taco Bell’s Volcano Taco has come and gone, thesixtyone.com rocked my world and now it sucks (maybe not to me, but to a lot of people), Cloverfield came out, Twitter made the world retarded, and your mom started using the word “fail” more often than an inner-city high school English teacher.
Because Biz Stone, the founder of Twitter, reminds me of every annoying Apple fan boy I’ve ever met.
A lot of people like to use Twitter to “stay connected”. Here is what I think of those people.
So you got married. Good for you! You are now living in perfect harmony. Well, you thought you would be living in perfect harmony, right? At least you were hopeful of that, right? Well as you’ve probably found out, that isn’t possible.
Not to worry! I have found the solution. You can give your relationship a real boost in the right direction by creating a “man zone” for yourself and your fellow idiot man friends who have also ended their lives in marriage (I mean that in a positive way).